Dr. Sara A. Hosn

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Relationships worth having 🙏🏼

We've been sold a version of love that sets most relationships up to fail before they even start.

A healthy relationship was never meant to rescue you. It was meant to support you while you rescue yourself. It was never meant to complete you. It was meant to be a safe place while you keep becoming who you are. It was never meant to fix your wounds. It was meant to love you through the healing without shaming you for having scars.

When you stop expecting your relationship to be what it was never designed to be, you finally have room to appreciate what it actually is.

It was never about performance. It was always about partnership.

If you grew up feeling like your needs were too much, apologizing for having them probably became automatic.

"I'm sorry I got so emotional." "I'm sorry I need so much reassurance." "I'm sorry for being a burden." Most people don't even realize they're doing it. It just feels like the polite thing to say.

But apologizing for your needs teaches the people around you that those needs are a problem. Gratitude does something completely different. It acknowledges what someone gave you instead of shaming yourself for needing it.

"Thank you for holding space for me" lands in a completely different place than "sorry I got so emotional." Same moment. Totally different message.