Fitful Focus

After 1 cancelled cycle, 7 blood draws, 14 days of stims and 51 shots
it's finally retrieval day!!!

I've got my pineapples at the ready and my gear on. Let's go get some eggs!

Well... Our IUI didn't work.

Another negative test.

I had a feeling when our IVF cycle was switched to IUI this wouldn't work, but I tried to stay hopeful. I had hope that even though this cycle wasn't going as planned, the lifestyle changes I made since our misscarriage in June would make it work.

I switched to eating mostly organic.

I switched my prenatal.

I started a few other supplements to help with egg quality and blood flow.

I started going to acupuncture.

I found an amazing support group.

I cut out caffeine.

I ate Brazil nuts and drank pomegranate juice and bone broth daily (all things said to help support the uterine lining - which is what I need serious help with).

The biggest change for me was excercise. I stopped any form of high intensity exercise and heavy lifting. That meant no running. No challenging Peloton rides. No weights over 5 pounds. All of this in an effort to help support my uterus and not take any blood flow or necessary energy away from it.

Since July, I've been walking, lifting very lightly, and going on slow rides that keep my heart rate under 130.

Exercise has always been a stress reliever for me. (And before you start to think it, no, I've never over-exercised and no, running the few marathons I've run at a middle-of-the-pack pace didn't cause my infertility.) So not being able to excerise throughout this stressful time (and no, stress doesn't cause infertility) has been a struggle.

Now, all these changes feel useless.
All the shots, all appointments, all the hope...for what?

They just led to another negative. Another sad, disappointing, heartbreaking month.

As we wait to hear from our doctor on next steps, which I know will be attempting a retrieval cycle again, I'm just left hopeless. Infertility has completely changed my outlook on life. It's shattered everything I believe in. I want to have hope it will work, but having my hopes and dreams ripped out from under me month after month is just fu***ng hard.

I'm tired of working so hard for bad news. Aren't I overdue for something good?

F**k it, I'm going for a hard ass, sweaty ride on my Peloton. And then I'm going to drink some 🍷

One pan meals = easy clean up = happy Nicole. It helps when the meal is tasty AF. Get the recipe for this simple paleo dinner:

Sheet Pan Turkey Meatballs with Garlic Sweet Potato Noodles (paleo) - Fitful Focus Want to cook but don’t want the burden of cleaning up afterwards? Meet my paleo Sheet Pan Turkey Meatballs with Garlic Sweet Potato Noodles. Easy to make, easier to clean up.  This post is sponsored by NOW Foods.  I love being adventurous in the kitchen. Most of the time, my adventures lead to d...