These Are My Users.

user: I'm working from home today and getting tree or server cannot be found when attempting to log onto Novell.
me: that message means you are not connected to our network. Verify you are connected to your internet at home than log onto VPN.
user: I AM logged onto VPN.
me: not if you're getting tree or server cannot be found. VPN looks like a locked lock when it's connected.
user: it does
me: launch your web browser
user: it says page cannot be displayed...
me: what is the web address?
user: google.com
me: ok, you're not connected to the internet. Please verify your home connection - wireless would look like cell phone bars, cable would be a picture of a monitor.
user: I'm connected to my iphone - what do I need to do?
me: sorry I cannot troubleshoot connectivity to your phone or home network. Please contact Apple or if you have another web connected device you can look up tethering.

user: we called in a work order for our printer on Friday and no one came then or yesterday. It's an EMERGENCY we need this printer. I think someone named Jim was supposed to come by.
me: he might be out already on calls. I'll transfer you to his line. Are there other printers in your area? each department tends to have several.
user: yes but it's VERY inconvenient
me: stand by for transfer...

user: the internet is not working on my computer
me: what website are you trying to reach?
user: the portal. the internet must be down
me: what web address is in your address bar?
user: http://padre...
me: the web address is traviscentral all one word. Let me know when you're there and I'll show you how to make it your home page.

user: do you have an extra power supply for this laptop. We keep the normal one at...
me: you'll need to purchase an extra power supply. Contact for a quote
user: so you don't have any spares?
me: It's not as simple as that. Any additional equipment needed for devices owned by your department have to be purchased by your department.
user: so you have one - you just aren't going to give it to me
me: "I" don't have any spare laptop parts...