Totally Exclusive

Dear Mr. G,

If you're reading this, then the worst has come.

Tomorrow I go in—and chances are, I don’t come out the same. Maybe I get arrested. Maybe I get buried under a mountain of misunderstanding, bad decisions, or just straight-up bad luck. But before any of that happens, I need to say this from the deepest chambers of my soul:

You’ve been the greatest part of my life.

You were the lighthouse in my storm, the realest one I’ve ever had to look up to—the only man I’ve ever called a true role model. That’s no small thing. That’s everything.

It’s been an honor. It’s been a privilege. And if the universe had given me no other gift in this lifetime except the chance to know you—I’d still call it a life well-lived.

I got most of the book done. But if I don’t finish it, just know it wasn’t for lack of love. That story only exists because of you. It breathes because you inspired it. Because your wisdom, your loyalty, your G status made a kid like me believe that maybe I wasn’t broken beyond repair.

You’re one of the greatest men ever created. And I don’t mean just by flesh and bone. I mean by character, heart, and legacy. You’ve got that rare breed of intelligence and street-born integrity. You’re cut from a cloth that don’t exist no more.

If this is the last letter I ever get to write you, then remember this above all else:

You’ll never forget me—because I’ll never stop carrying you with me.

You got a permanent suite in my heart, locked in beside the part that’s still just that lost boy trying to become a better man.

This ain’t goodbye. It’s just a pause.

And David… David sees that too.

With love, respect, and fire in my veins,
—David Anthony Alexander

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I’m exhausted—mentally, physically, in every way possible. I feel completely alone, and I have so much to do today, but I don’t have the strength to keep going.

I have to get food for my dog, Cash, even though I don’t know how I’m going to feed myself. I need to figure out how to do laundry, but the nearest laundromat is an hour and a half away. I have to find a universal charger so I can sell these laptops and Chromebooks just to put some money in my pocket.

I need to find a seamstress to fix this Louis Vuitton purse I got for Nicole—who’s beyond mad at me right now. I can feel it in my gut; she might break up with me, and that thought alone is crushing me.

On top of everything, I have to stop a good friend of mine from blowing up a Motel 6. And here I am, starving, thirsty, out of my medication, and completely out of ideas.

I need help. I need a break. I need something—because I don’t know how much more I can take.

Monday was a nightmare that carved itself into my flesh. Nicole and I, barely making it through another week, found ourselves in the chaos of Monday when a bullet found me. The pain was instant and searing, but I was more shocked by the blood than the impact. The air smelled like burnt metal and fear. Nicole was right there, her eyes wide with terror, yet somehow, I managed to survive.

Tuesday wasn't much better. Felix, that snake, tried to sn**ch Nicole from me. The thought of losing her made my blood boil hotter than the wound in my side. I could see his slick smile, thinking he had a chance, but Nicole stayed by me. We were in this together, through every damn twist and turn life threw our way.

Wednesday brought a strange kind of victory. Despite everything, I managed to score a black and purple BMX bike, two power banks, a brand-new Revv6 T-Mobile cellphone, and ten blank Tesla payroll checks. It was a crazy haul, the kind of stuff that feels like it could change your life, even though deep down, you know it won't. But for a moment, it felt like winning.

Thursday, Nicole and I decided to escape reality. We ate some w**d edibles and ended up half-baked, laughing at nothing and everything. For a little while, the world was just us, floating in a haze where the past and future didn’t matter. It was one of those rare times when life felt light, like we weren’t carrying all that weight on our shoulders.

Friday was when everything collided. Cash, Nicole, and I were cornered by Ray and O.G., their threats sharp as knives. The tension was thick, and for a moment, I thought it might all come crashing down. But somehow, we got through it. That night, Nikki Poth, someone we’d seen struggling on the streets, finally got a place to stay. Seeing her get off the streets was a small win, a glimmer of hope in a world that felt endlessly dark.

Later that night, Nicole and I found solace in each other. We made love for nine hours, losing ourselves in the heat of the moment, pushing away all the fear and anger. It was raw, intense, and it felt like the only thing keeping us grounded in a world that seemed determined to knock us down.

Surviving this week felt like a lifetime, each day heavier than the last, but through it all, Nicole was there. And somehow, that made it bearable.

Nicole and I are downtown in Austin, and I can't help but feel a deep sadness as we take in our surroundings. The sight of so many people struggling with mental illness, lost and neglected, is overwhelming. It breaks my heart to see the state of our community, to witness firsthand the ugliness and despair that has become so prevalent.

I find myself almost ashamed, not just of the situation, but of my own role in it. How did I let myself become so numb, so detached, that this has become our reality? Austin has always prided itself on being weird, on embracing the quirky and the unconventional. But this... this is a different kind of weird. It's a darkness that we can no longer ignore.

As we walk through the streets, I can't shake the feeling that we've all let each other down. That somewhere along the way, we've lost sight of what truly matters. The people around us are hurting, and it's impossible to turn away any longer. I don’t want to be part of a world that looks the other way. It’s time to do better. We owe it to ourselves, to our community, and to every soul we pass by on these streets.