New Mourning

From one mom: for moms who grieve;

I am so very sorry.

When I heard the news yesterday- that your sons lost their lives- my own broken heart ached for yours.

It was 15 months and 11 days ago when I learned that my son and his friend did not survive.

And I can remember those early days exactly. The distinct numbness you feel, and the fog that surrounds you, and the shock that will stay for longer than you expect. Life is suddenly and painfully divided into Before and After, and everything has changed.

I am so sorry.

This beautiful community will carry you if you let them. If you feel that you can, open your doors to the love and support that people want to give. Ask them to talk about your sons and speak their names. Find the people who are in this with you for the long haul, and let them hold you up when you cannot stand on your own.

No, none of this makes any sense. Yes, you can be angry. Yes, it will always hurt. You are now on a journey through grief, and I am not certain that there is an end. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, I’m told. I cannot seem to find instructions, no matter how hard I try. You get to grieve in your own way, and you get to honor your sons however you choose, and you never, ever have to do this alone.

I hope that you can feel God’s presence in the sorrow. I hope you believe in the promise of heaven, which is what keeps me looking up. And I hope that Joe and Jude were right there to welcome you

I am holding you so close.