Atlanta Parenting Therapy

I started seeing clients again and going back to work in March. The adjustment has been a mix of being exactly what I needed, and simultaneously A LOT. I am still figuring out if this new season has the capacity to be in this instagram space, but thought an update would be fun!

We are almost at the 4 month mark (crazy), and we have transitioned out foster son out of our home. So we went from homework helping to diaper changing, with a small 2 month overlap of doing both at the same time (sometimes actually at the exact same time🤪).

Being a mom to a newborn comes with so many new emotions and experiences. I am learning a lot, daily. Hoping to share some of those things here in time. But for now, here is sweet picture of my blondie from Mother’s Day💓

We hear a lot about how great structure, routine, and consistency is for kids. Especially toddlers. But what if you hate those things yourself?!

I have worked with a handful of parents that identify themselves as people that “hate structure”. They struggle to see how they can create these rhythms for their kids, when they themselves are uncomfortable with the structure that is held in a routine.

What I often find is that it is more about how we are defining structure, and that the best place to start is to release the expectations, assumptions, and comparisons we hold of what we “think” structure and routine look like in parenting.

This looks different for every family and it is important that the structure and routine you implement in your home feels authentic and consistent with the values you hold as a family. Instead of getting caught up in time blocks, color coding, and strict robotic routine we often see in movies or perfect instagram depictions, focusing on meeting basic needs consistently, and starting small.

I love helping families define structure or routine to fir their individual family identities

“It feels impossible”
“I tried my best, but then I snapped”
“They just drive me crazy sometimes”
“My buttons are pushed all day”

I hear this from parenting clients daily. As we talk about things like co-regulation, staying calm, setting boundaries. There is an assumption that everyone else, including me as the therapist, must be able to do these things seamlessly. But the truth is, we all lose our cool. I lose my cool, too.

Even though I have studied this stuff, read way too many books on, listened to endless podcasts, worked with dozens and dozens of families to help them strengthen their parenting journey, I still lose my cool.

Why? Because I am human.

If you ever find yourself wondering if you are the only one that loses their cool, you can rest assured that you are not alone, and I am right there with you.

The unpredictable yet so predictable push back when asking him to brush his teeth in the morning. And at night. Almost every day.

We’ve tried making it fun. Giving choices. Using different toothbrushes and different toothpastes. Letting him do it alone. Helping him. Using a timer. All the things. And yet, 9 times out of 10, when it is time to brush his teeth, frustration comes out and push back begins.

We have gone all detective on it, asking ourselves what it possibly could be about. Does it hurt his teeth? Does it taste gross? Is it about hygiene, or is it just about wanting to be “defiant”?

But perhaps it isn't about the toothbrush at all. Perhaps there is frustration about his day. His life. The things he has so little control over. And he feels frustrated. And he doesn’t know how, or when, to express that frustration. So when I say “it’s time to brush your teeth”, he sees an opportunity to release some of this pent up frustration that he has been carrying alone.

Is it frustrating for me? Yes. Is it annoying at times? Yep. Do I sometimes roll my eyes, or respond in a way that makes it about the toothbrush? Guilty.

But the truth is, my job is to create a space for him to safely release the frustration. To show him, by accepting the emotion he is releasing, that he doesn’t have to carry it alone. I don’t always succeed at this, but I am challenging myself to think, “perhaps it is not about the toothbrush”.

Therapy is a beautiful, messy, complex, simple, unique and individualized process. Majority of my days are spent sitting in the seat as a therapist, and then there are days I sit in the seat as a client. Both experiences are powerful.

As a therapist, my deepest desire for each of my clients is to feel supported, challenged, and empowered. It is what I come back to before and after every hour spent journeying with individuals, couples, and families through the season of life they are in.

Have you been considering therapy, but feel overwhelmed at where to start? Send me a DM, I have a long list of THE BEST therapist in Atlanta that I would be happy to connect you with.

You deserve to feel supported, challenged, and empowered.

This is an analogy I use often with clients, and in my own home with parenting challenges. We have the option, in almost all interactions, to either invite our children into the wrestling ring (power struggles), or to take a stand to invite them into teamwork.

Before you respond to the whines, the “nos”, the frustration, take a deep breath and ask yourself if you want to invite them into the wrestling ring or invite them into teamwork.

One of the keywords here is “invite”. Sometimes our children walk themselves into the wrestling ring the second the sun rises, and they are in a place to seek power struggles. Those are the moments and the days that we want to see past the behavior, and ask ourselves what they are trying to communicate.

Not all of our invitations for teamwork are going to be accepted. But the point is that we move away from openly inviting a power struggle in the wrestling ring, and find ways to invite teamwork and connection.

Again, it's all about connection.

Happy Friday!
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⭐️Are you looking to gain confidence in this season of parenting? Wanting to shift from control to connection?
💙Parenting Therapy available for families in the state of Georgia and Florida
📞Reach out today through the link in the bio to schedule a free phone-consultation today!
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