i4Profectus

There’s nothing wrong with being the one people call when they need something done right. But overtime your “capable” can get mistaken for “available,” and then people will stop asking if you can help anymore, they will just assume you will.

And thats the trap of high-achieving women in today’s world.

The more competent you are, the more people will expect from you. Sometimes, not because they are trying to take advantage of you but because you’ve trained them to believe one thing: “She’ll figure it out”

I have learnt that the better you become at carrying weight, the more weight people are willing to hand you because capabilities creates the illusion that you are limitless.
They forget that everybody has limits, even superheroes.

Don’t get me wrong, being useful is a beautiful thing.
Competence is a gift not many people have
Reliability builds trust and excellence do open doors

The world needs capable women, the world needs you!

The problem is not that you’re useful, the problem is when your usefulness becomes the only thing people value about you and it becomes the identity that wraps you up in a web of Hyper competent behaviors.

So let me introduce to Healthy Competence
This is the kind of competence that doesn’t require self-neglect
You can be dependable without becoming depleted.
You can serve without sacrificing yourself.
And you can lead without carrying the masculine energy home.

Follow Dr. T**i Ilori | Scientist | Executive Coach so you don’t miss more on this, save this if you want to come back to read this again and share with that woman you know is carrying the burden of hyper competence.

This weekend is not your opportunity to catch up on work or to be busy with one task or the other.

It’s your opportunity to catch up with yourself, with your family.

If you spend every weekend, every holiday, and every day off trying to be productive and on top of things, your nervous system will never get the message that it’s safe to slow down.

This is one of the hidden pathways to burnout and total shutdown.

This 4th of July or whatever holiday comes next, resist the temptation to fill every empty space and free time you have.

Go for the massage
Binge that movie
Spend time outside
Have lunch that isn’t squeezed between schedules.
Laugh with your family.
Hold your partner’s hand a little longer.
Call your parents.
Sleep without setting an alarm.
Sit in silence with yourself

These moments may not earn you anything, but they will help you become the version of yourself that can sustain the career/business you are working so hard to build.

This 4th of July
Will you have the freedom to choose yourself?

This is a perfect representation of what life looks like for a woman struggling with Hypercompetence.

You are always in performance mode

You are managing your partner instead of relating to them

You are correcting them instead of connecting with them

You are anticipating everyone’s needs, but feeling unseen in yours

You are present physically, but emotionally, and mentally still “working”

You don’t need to become less driven or shrink your ambition
What you need is a new way to transition home.. to yourself

Comment “Framework” now

How do you go from high stakes decision maker at work
To present partner, soft mother, and available friend, or sister..

One day in a single shift, I pronounced three patients dead and held three end of life discussions. I stood by a young cancer patient as they refused life-saving treatment.

Back in the Lab, I fought to save patient samples from being discarded due to a bureaucratic nightmare, all while having four grant deadlines and three pending manuscripts.

But that was still not close to a breaking point for me.
The Breaking Point was when I got home, walked in the door, sat in and asked my husband a question.
That was when things hit the fan.

This is a conversation that I have always wanted to have to help women in medicine, because I’ve seen it.

This is a tip of Whats to come
In the full video, I will talk about

• What Hypercompetence really is
• The Signs and Symptoms
• How it Silently affects everyone around you
• How to Transition out of it Intentionally (not abruptly)

📌Full Video Drops Soon
➡️ Like and Follow to get notified

femaledoctor conversational relatable life lesson