Human Canine Collaborative

Long before Muggins, I lived with a clever black Lab named Gabi and a fluffy German Shepherd named Ziko. They loved to snack on frozen kongs filled with banana and peanut butter.

Unfortunately for Ziko, Gabi would always finish first and then she would walk over to Ziko and stand over him as he fumbled with his frozen treat. Ziko would look up, lick Gabi on the face, and then Gabi would steal the kong and happily trot away.

As I watched them, I wondered why Ziko would lick Gabi’s face just before she stole the prize.

What was the significance of that lick?
 
I’ve since developed awareness that dogs are extremely intentional with their communication. They can also be diplomatic, courteous, forgiving, and kind.

Ziko was all of the above.

Despite outweighing Gabi by 25 lbs, Ziko Ziko licked Gabi to practice surrender, offer trust, and move through conflict in a way that preserved relationship.
 
Recently, Elizabeth Holbrook - .on.the.move - a writer, editor, and rescue dog parent, reached out to me to collab on an article about why dogs lick each other. I was delighted to recall the sweet dynamic between Gabi and Ziko as I wrote my notes.

For an illuminating exploration of dog-licking behavior, click the link in my bio to read the article!

📸 by

❤️mydog

When you want to learn someone’s name, you practice saying it out loud. When you want to get someone’s pronouns right, practice those out loud, too!

I initially began doing this after a call to action from Mia .wizardry to practice they / them pronouns out loud.

I thought about how I could engage myself and my community in practicing, while also examining how the colonial gender binary impacts my thinking and my perspective on the world around me.

When I use they/them pronouns for Muggins, most people don’t bat an eye. Some people ask, “why?” Some people ask if Muggins is a boy or girl and I say, “We use they/them pronouns.” Some people look confused, and others say, “Muggins is such a good…dog!”

Since starting this practice, I have found that I really enjoy removing gendered pronouns from how I talk about dogs. I’ve also developed confidence in correcting people who misgender my trans and nonbinary friends, and in continuing to correctly gender my friends even when others do not.

A reminder from a colleague: Marginalized humans have and continue to be compared to nonhuman animals to justify harm against them. Humans and dogs are not the same, nor are the experiences and suffering of marginalized humans the same as the experiences and suffering of dogs. This distinction is precisely why I’m suggesting that we practice they / them pronouns with dogs.

I am in no way trying to dismiss the very real danger and violence that trans and nonbinary humans face on a daily basis, nor am I suggesting that using they/them pronouns for a dog is direct advocacy for trans and nonbinary humans.

I’m suggesting that we practice they /them pronouns with our dogs because it might feel safer and more playful to try (and make mistakes with) unfamiliar language when talking to or about our dogs.

So, I invite you to join us: Practice they / them (or neo) pronouns out loud, by talking to or using them for your dog, and let me know what happens!

❤️mydog

Here are the ways we can work together.

All offers are linked in bio.

DM me the word COLLAB for info on Co-Regulation Coaching.

I am deeply grateful for the kind words and deep trust these humans lent to me!

I love working with people who know that they can’t support their dog until they are supported themselves.

You and your dog deserve to flourish!