Counseling Innovations

The Occuplaytional Therapist
Just a simple reminder. ❤
A lot of times, we think (mistakenly) that if we don’t lecture our child “in the moment” about whatever it is that they did wrong (or whatever we think should have been different), then they won’t learn anything from it, the moment will pass and they’ll think they “got away” with it, etc.

In actuality, nobody—children included—does their best learning when they are scared or hurt or upset or flooded with emotions. Human brains have to be regulated first before they’re capable of storing new learning or processing and sorting new input.

So when your child needs a hug, it’s okay to just give them a hug, to hold them until they’re regulated. Or—“hug” is a shorthand here—some kids (and adults) don’t want to be hugged when they’re upset, but to be given space. It’s okay to give them that space. It’s okay to let the moment pass.

If there’s a voice in your head that worries that they’re not learning anything from it, ask yourself where that voice came from. Chances are that it might’ve been a voice that you heard in childhood. It’s okay to acknowledge that voice and what it’s meant to you over the years. It’s also okay to let that voice know that you know something different now. You know that learning isn’t happening in this moment anyway—at least not in “lecture” form. The only kind of learning that’s sticking in this moment is your child learning whether or not you are a safe person to be around during a problem, and you want that answer to be yes.

♡ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Synergetic Play Therapy or get resources to support you on your therapist journey, submit your details here: https://linktr.ee/synergeticplaytherapy ♡



[Image description: A typewriter font on a white background that says, "Don't offer a lecture to a person who needs a hug." The image was made by . End description.]

"As a society, we may assume that children facing trauma is a rare occurrence; however, 61% of children before age 18 have experienced adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), such as violence, abuse, neglect, substance use or mental health problems within the family unit. We may not always hear stories like mine due to the shame or stigma of attempting to conceal the deep pain and trauma. There is a vital need for trauma to be addressed with the utmost sensitivity and compassion."

Children Should Not Have to Be Resilient | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness I felt pressure to continue being ‘the brave, resilient one’ in moments I deserved to rest, recuperate and simply be a child.

Dr Vanessa Lapointe, R Psych 💕

Behaviour is communication.

And sometimes, behaviour is born from a bubbling up of emotions that eventually spills over, oftentimes resulting in a flood of angry words, lashing out, and tears. In these moments, we must resist our old programming - we cannot give in to the voice that tells us to “shut it down!” or hisses, “You can’t let her get away with this!”

Instead, these moments are asking for your loving compassion. These moments are asking for you to sit quietly until the tears have stopped flowing. These moments are asking for your patient ears, to hear all of the stories that lead up to this meltdown. These moments are asking for you to connect with your child, and to help them find their way back to a regulated state.

It isn’t always easy, and our own narratives can sometimes trip us up, but you can do this. You were made for this. ❤️

♡ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Synergetic Play Therapy or get resources to support you on your therapist journey, submit your details here: https://linktr.ee/synergeticplaytherapy ♡