Mitchell Smolkin

On the podcast this week I want to open up about my decision to pause the podcast in order to take some time to restore my own creative energies. The idea of a beautiful end has guided me in many parts of my life and this week I wanted to explore what it means to end things.

There is a common idea that when something ends, another opportunity will soon arise. That’s why we have symbols like a phoenix rising from the ashes or sayings such as “when one door closes, a new one opens”. However, I believe that there doesn’t always have to be a new beginning after something ends. The fact that something ends is not a failure.

Something new could come along but it also might not. The question is, can we withstand the possibility that something else might not come? Maybe in some ways, for us to be able to accept the end of something, the loss of somebody, or the end of a chapter in our lives, we must at least be open to the idea that in and of itself, the ending is whole. It doesn’t need anything else. It doesn’t need the comfort that something else will be next. And so, I wonder if there might be a greater strength in inviting in the idea that there really can just be a beautiful end.
So please join me for this final installment of my podcast, I am incredibly grateful for all the support you have shown me along the way.

To listen to this week's episode, click on the link below
https://mitchellsmolkin.com/dos33/

The podcast this week is the second episode of a three-part series where I talk about the topic shame. I have gotten many questions and seen a lot of posts from people asking what they should do when their partner doesn’t want to put in the work of opening up and talking about their shame. I have a lot of respect for how tiring and difficult it can be to try to get through to somebody.

On the other hand, something that has been a big theme in my practice of late is that we have to recognize our own misunderstanding, our own anxiety, and our own failures of empathy. It is important to slow down a bit and recognize just how difficult it might be for people to open themselves up to deeper layers of pain. It isn’t like turning on a switch and suddenly the other person can open up. It is a lot quieter and slower. That can often be very frustrating. However, when someone manages to slow down and names their basic initial responses to overwhelming emotion, it is very powerful. There is a lot of hope in that.

Opening up and sharing our shame is an ongoing process of discovery and rediscovery, there is no end. In a lot of ways, I actually find this very positive and relieving. There will always be some things that will remain unsaid, things we do not accomplish, emotions we don’t express and connections we do not make. And that’s ok.

To listen to this week's episode, click on the link below:

https://mitchellsmolkin.com/dos029/