Lala Writes

Just when you thought someone’s light had been put out, you will realize that it shines brighter through the darkest of night.

I came across these rusty, old, and broken “gaseras” (lamps) during one of my recent visits to my Lola’s house. They were put away in a corner near the house. Oddly, the sight of them suddenly made me feel nostalgic. I took a quick snap of these old and beaten things which once were the sight to behold for a child. I remember my Lola Ter, always reminding us not to get too close to it and to be careful when holding it for safety. They were one of those lamps made of old glasses, a piece of cloth as a wick, and an aluminum cover. A right amount of kerosene is poured into to complete the work and is ready for use when night time comes. As a child, I was mesmerized by its glow but I was wary enough to know that it can be dangerous when spilled while lighted. My Lola told us dozens of times that it can burn the whole house when mishandled.

I took a few moments to reminisce about those days, when we stayed for visits and holidays at my Lola’s. I remember her in the early mornings, at the break of dawn, she was sitting in front of the altar and the flicker of the lamp and the light from a small candle outlines her face. She was too engrossed in prayer, sometimes she was holding a rosary on one hand and a small booklet on the other. I didn't pay much attention to that sight until years later when I appreciated her diligence in prayer. Over time, I was so used to waking up watching her in fervent prayer. She was our prayer warrior. In so many ways, her prayers saved us. Even today, those flickering lights may have been put out, but I know, hers is the brightest. It shines even today, even when she is no longer with us to pray for the whole family. Why am I being sentimental about these lamps anyway? They are useless now. My uncle is probably taking them for proper disposal. But on that cloudy day, my eyes and my heart were caught by them. There was something melancholic seeing them in that little corner. They reminded me that they may be useless and broken now, but they were once our light-givers. They flickered, yes, but still their light was enough to see us through those nights.

My Lola Ter is one of those lamps in my life. My light-giver. We could be the same to others. So yes, our lights may grow dim over time. We can softly flicker and eventually, our lights will be extinguished… But we, too, can still shine in others’ memories, vividly and brightly. We just have to keep burning for others.