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Ghosting and Avoidance: Fota ba't ang saket?

Marami sa atin nakaranas na ng Ghosting, and in case na you're familiar with the term, technically, that's the abrupt cessation of any form of communication, usually in dating. Yung biglang tumigil na lang sa pagtext, tawag, chat or pakikipag-usap sa'yo? 'Yong p**a, ilang milyong neurons ang namatay sa'yo kakapuyat para lang makipag chat tas one day wala na siya? Tangina mo ulopong, mamatay ka na. Sorry.

So technically, ano ba ang Ghosting? Well, its Avoidance. People tend to avoid extreme emotional confrontation, and di ba, during break up its an emotional s**t storm while volcanoes are erupting and incompetent 'yong gobyerno. Ganun 'yon.

In the Filipino context of dating, Ghosting occurs for various reason, and since wala ring solid or concrete study about this (take note, kung wala ka pang thesis, sponsoran na namin paprint mo at pabookbind ano? Sama mo na pancit canton ng may ambag naman yung social loafer niyong team mate.) we can detect the most plausible explanation.

Una, ulupong lang talaga 'yang nagpaasa sa'yo.

Pangalawa, he or she is avoiding that emotional conflict of breaking up with you or cutting the relationship short. Emotional showdown din kasi 'yan when you break up and aminin na natin, pag nag break ang mga magjowa dito, parang may book of accounts na involved. May sumbat na kasama. May debit may credit. So when they ghosted you and magjowa kayo, that means that person is not emotionally equipped to handle the situation - or at the very least, he or she is irresponsible kaya niya iniiwasan 'yon. Wala siyang pakialam dun sa mararamamdaman mo. Oh wag nang pumalag kung tinamaan ka, comment down below na lang excuse mo ba't ka nang-Ghost. Sometimes, this occurs pag wala kayong label. Harot niyo rin kasi hindi niyo alam kung saan kayo lulugar tas landing landi niyo. Saket? Ay. Sorry. Mas madalas ma-ghost yung mga walang label - unang una, mas madali kasi na mag detach sa relationship na walang clear and explicit label.

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo.

Ganun.

Dahil hindi nga kayo, mas madaling bumitaw at bigla na lang mawala. Sasabihin niya na, "hindi naman tayo ah?" O edi napahiya ka pa.

Masakit siya kasi its a form of rejection. And to illustrate it, imagine mo na lang na 'yong relationship mo, wala mang label 'yan o wala, pag biglang natapos, masakit - the same way na nagdikit ka ng duct tape sa kili kili mo ng 3 weeks tas bigla mong hinila. Sakit di ba? Ganun din 'yon emotionally. If something binds you two, tas biglang nawala, natural masakit.

Lahat ng bigla at pilit, bandang huli, tyak masakit.

(Japone, 2020)