David Eric - The Coconuter

There was dear Cleopatra, the ruler high atop her grand pyramid. Banished me to the underworld, I now crawl the streets below, but I am the forgotten creator Ra. Wounded and empty-handed now, but with destructive fire and life-giving sunlight, my dualism is keeping me alive for the time-being, because though it has potential to be ruinous, it can also revive. Resurrection, or die trying.

Thrown away and lost in the chaos, my soul drifts. The darkness is cold, but touch me and I'll heat it up. The vibrations that boom seem to momentarily drown out the tribulations. Glinting eyes of panthers speckle the pitch-black night. Flickers of gold float in the dark smoky air, but I am looking for a familiar face.

Flashes of light blind me momentarily. Artificial stars beam down. I am confused, as I am surrounded by a crowd now, but I am not sure if I feel any less lonely. Shadows sway. The sounds and beats are hypnotizing, but they can't yet seem to compare to the enchantment of the past songs that still haunt me.

Time is flying close to sunset, but I am still fighting. Maximum intensity, blasting my Top Gun jets until red hot, as I take it to the danger zone. I rose from the black cinders and will perish as poor as the ashes, but before I do, I will burn and blaze my wings of fire once more.

Title of this post: Phoenix

Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzXbTfgoMac

Bad Things - Camila Cabello, MGK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpbQ4I3Eidg

The Middle - Zedd, Maren Morris, Grey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3mJkSqZbX4

Sweet but Psycho - Ava Max
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXBHCQYxwr0

Starving - Hailee Steinfeld, Grey, Zedd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwjwCFZpdns

Leavin' - Jesse McCartney
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR5_KkxgGqE

Versace on the Floor - Bruno Mars
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FyjEnoIgTM

Just Give Me a Reason - Pink
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpQFFLBMEPI

Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJtDXIazrMo

Crazy For You - Madonna
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHutZXREZ0E

Take My Breath Away - Berlin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUis9yny_lI

I think bad things are approaching. I am usually the savior for others, but this time I think I am the one who is sinking. I'd hope that God might have mercy, but with the way things have been going, the signs are not good.

Without any good luck, direction, or motivation coming my way, I am just breaking even in all aspects, and only barely making it by. I think I and my life seem pretty much useless -- I am lost. And all the while, time is trickling away, yet I don't really know what to do with it.

I guess one thing I've realized, which is perhaps a weakness in my life that has been magnified by the situation, is that when you lack real friends and bonding activities, it exposes a deep sadness in one's life; especially because realistically speaking, my only true friends were really them, even though in scope they are so much more.

Though the bonding gradually decreased as the years went on, at least their presence was still there, for some of the time anyways, just not quite as often or consistent as before. And I guess I didn't notice the emotional disconnect creeping in through the years, because I was so focused on work, since the product of that was something they coveted and pressured me to obtain more of.

But now with all totally gone, I am now essentially alone, since even my cubs now understandably have a world of their own. So I am left having to deal with the monotony of the eat/sleep/work routine in order to keep things afloat, with nothing to balance it out to keep my sanity. Although the cyclical drudgery can drive one crazy, I really have no other responsible choice but to endure it and hope that things will turn out for the better eventually.

That's why I advise to make friends while still young and in school, and to join extracurricular or school activities. As long as the influences are not bad, then making these connections while young will help you with your mental health and in leading a balanced life in the long run. It's harder to make sincere friends as we grow older, since other factors (like money) pollute the genuineness, like one of my so-called "friends" in Ortigas, whose every move has to be funded (thus I rarely talk to him anymore unless it's an emergency).

For loners like me who's become cynical or jaded by life's cruelties and tragedies, who trusts very little due to a past propensity of being taken advantage of, who has lost my childhood friends through migrations and life transitions, and who has been abandoned by all those important to him -- I have no advice, but only empathy and sympathy, because there is no light in the abyss.

Title of this post: Mercy in the Abyss

Song 1: Lonely is the Night by Air Supply
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oT1WGY0_f8

Song 2: All this Time by Tiffany
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zFe0XICK-0

Song 3: My Love by Lionel Richie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB7-GvXbX9g

Song 4: Gaya ng Dati by Gary Valenciano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWu4rS_h1CM

What a magnificent difference it is when there is hope. Even if you are not sure what is the truth or what truly lies ahead in your future, as long as there is still belief in your wish, then that conviction may be able to give you enough momentum to keep going for another day.

Life the way you want it may or may not arrive, and life as you know it may or may not be coming to an end, but as long as you have faith in even the slightest possibility for the happiness or relief you long for, that may well be enough to keep you holding on.

And though the odds may be stacked against you, and your strength may be fading; the fact that you did not give up, can sometimes make all the difference. That is the birth of a miracle.

And perhaps everything bright and positive could just be a figment of your imagination, but maybe that beautiful delusion is just what you need so that you can continue flying towards that vanilla sky that you dream of.

Title of this post: Vanilla Sky

Song 1: Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9uQMY4mvZc

Song 2: Go the Distance by Michael Bolton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NS_GcRTHRio

Song 3: Never Gonna Let You Go by Sergio Mendes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmgGKtYceak

Song 4: You are my Everything by Calloway
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6Bsz8vUT4E