wanneminute

𝙔𝒐𝙪 𝙬𝒐𝙣’𝙩 𝙗𝒆𝙡𝒊𝙚𝒗𝙚 𝙞𝒕, 𝙥𝒆𝙧𝒐 𝒕𝙝𝒊𝙨 𝙄𝑫 𝒍𝙖𝒄𝙚 𝙗𝒂𝙨𝒊𝙘𝒂𝙡𝒍𝙮 𝙨𝒖𝙢𝒎𝙚𝒅 𝒖𝙥 𝙢𝒚 𝒆𝙣𝒕𝙞𝒓𝙚 𝙬𝒆𝙚𝒌𝙚𝒏𝙙.

First talk pa lang, napunit na after ng coffee break — natapunan ng kape, nadumihan, lumambot, hanggang sa tuluyang napunit. Tinabi ko na lang sa bag kasi wala na, sira na, wala nang butas, wala nang kakapitan.

But during the second talk, napansin ni Dj na wala akong ID. Sabi ko tinabi ko na kasi hindi na magagamit — punit na, madumi, and I thought wala nang purpose. Pero sabi niya, “Kunin mo lang, magtiwala ka, pwede pa yan.” So I handed it over, and he did the unexpected — pinunit pa niya para magkaroon ng bagong butas. Para maisabit ulit. Para magamit ulit.

Right there, God reminded me of something I’ve forgotten:
Just when you think wala ka nang silbi, wala ka nang value, He steps in and shows you na hindi totoo yun.

After lunch, I found myself in the chapel, asking God to open my heart and clear my mind para matanggap ko Siya fully this weekend. Then in the silence, one line kept repeating in my head from Feast Worship’s “Here”:

“In Your mercy, I’m made whole. I surrender… YOU MAKE ALL THINGS NEW.”

Until hindi ko namamalayan, kinakanta ko na Siya out loud.

Like this ID lace — napunit, nadumihan, nawala ng halaga for a moment — but God picked me up, poked a new hole where He could enter, and made me new. Pwede pala kahit sirang-sira ka na, kaya ka pa Niyang gawing bago.

And by His grace, I was able to receive the Sacrament of Confession and the Holy Eucharist on Divine Mercy Sunday. Grabe yung outpour ng mercy Niya — He proved to me that just when I thought tapos na, dun pala Siya magsisimula.

May marka pa rin ng pagkasira, may mantsa pa rin ng kape, hindi na kasing kinis ng dati… pero nagamit pa rin, napakinabangan pa rin.

Parang ako — kahit narungisan, nagkamali, naligaw, at nawalan ng pag-asa… binuhay ulit, ginawang bago, mahalaga pa rin.

Kulang ang words para ilarawan kung gaano katindi yung panunuyo ni Lord sa akin nitong weekend. Pero isang bagay lang ang siguradong ayaw kong palampasin:

Though I am unworthy, I am still called to love.

The old is gone, the new has come. I am made new.

Thank You, Lord, for never giving up on me — kahit ilang beses akong sumusuko sa sarili ko, at sa’Yo.
I love You. Thank You.