CarlyK

So here’s where the human mind gets interesting….as I’ve been nurturing my body leading up to surgery- nourishing foods, womb healing ceremony (perhaps not quite me) embodied dance (love it) and returning to the pool (my favourite place) - you could say things were going…swimmingly.

I was feeling strong, centred and ready. And then the call came in. Surgery was brought forward 2 weeks, and just like that, my heart started racing. It was if the door to reality opened up and anxiety came running through

So I’m connecting with my newfound panic and decided - somehow without actually deciding - the best way to prepare for surgery and the 6 week recovery was…to clean! I mean like, clean clean. Ovens, windows, water-blasting the driveway, ironing and of course the all important wiping of skirting boards (who would have surgery knowing they haven’t cleaned them?!) I was on a mission - purpose unknown - and my daughter summed it up nicely when she said “um, you’re eyes look a little crazed right now” She may have been right, but here’s the thing, I wasn’t just cleaning like I thought. Turns out all that physical focus was processing fear, and strangely enough it felt great.

And while I felt better from my cleaning marathon, I do secretly fear that my husband may start scheduling me for more surgeries when he wants a spotless house!

This part of my processing got me thinking about how we cope when the going gets tough. We all have our tried and true go-to’s for handling stress but how often do we try something new?

Some of us have recently found cleaning over shut down. Others crack a bottle of wine (no judgement here) some meditate, or exercise, eat, or talk it out. Some of these we consciously choose and some are driven by something deeper feeling out of our control. But I’m really curious. What’s your thing?

Processing stress won’t always run perfectly, it’s not often easy and can be messy. But let’s own it. Without judgement -rather curiosity and compassion. Because at the end of the day, we do what we can with what we’ve got at the time. And in the words of ‘do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better. do better’

FINDING ACCEPTANCE
Ok, gonna put it all out there.. I’m about to go through something to help me - that I don’t want…. “the big H” (Hysterectomy) and I won’t lie the emotions are all over the place. Relief & Grief. Hope & Fear and a whole lot of ‘what ifs’

For over 30 years my body and I have been in a bit of a battle, raging over all the symptoms that come with polycystic o***y syndrome, a handful of endometriosis and a sprinkle of adenomyosis. (If ya know ya know) Yep it’s quite the trifecta of WTF with my reproductive health journey.

I’ve spent a lot of (wasted) time in Drs offices, had some unexpected hospital stays and tried (to the best of my capacity) implementing researched lifestyle changes. But after exhausting all efforts I’ve reached the end of my options. It’s now time for surgery.

Now here’s the thing. Logically I know this is the right choice for me, but emotionally? What a rollercoaster. Wilma (my womb in case you were wondering) and I are parting ways, and I’m realising there’s more to these organs than essential biological functions. There’s identity, energetics, and as I’m learning stored trauma. And best not get me started on the stigma around women’s health. We’ve been conditioned to keep these things quiet so as to not make others uncomfortable. *sigh

What’s helping me through this? Women. Women showing compassion. Woman that have been through a similar journey, generously sharing their stories with me. The more they do the more I realise how many of us are facing our own health challenges- often invisible and misunderstood.

I’ve got a tribe of beautiful souls supporting me, and I hope you do too. These posts are my way of facilitating that space. Where conversations can be started (even if not here on social media) emotions can be held, and permission given to show up as we are.

So here’s to the messy, complicated unpredictable journey we are on. Let’s walk it together because we are not meant to face hard things alone.
To be honest I’m nervous, holding back anger, a little ashamed (working on that) and also tentatively excited about what health might look like on the other side of this.

What about you? How are you feeling about your stuff?

C’mon Women! It’s time to take an honest look at what you’re telling yourself - you deserve better

This week outside of coaching I have heard numerous wonderful women criticise and shame themselves for not being (what they perceive)
fit enough,
strong enough,
skinny enough,
successful enough
- and quite frankly the only thing not good enough is that this kind of self talk has been normalised🥹

I am very confident and aligned to my purpose which is to help women break negative conditioned beliefs keeping them stuck in this ‘auto pilot’ version of life so they can instead thrive in health & happiness. And do this through real life actual bloody kindness!

When did we women decide that we are only worthy if we have the ‘perfect’ body?

When did we decide that we must be ‘perfect’ and expert at everything we do in order to be worthy?

Not only do I call BS on this but ‘perfect’ can kiss my arse! - it is damaging our health & well-being and it needs to change

Please do me a favour- take some of that kindness you so freely give to others and give some of that to YOURSELF.

You don’t earn kindness, you deserve kindness Just by BEING YOU.

Be a good human. To others. To yourself. That’s humanKIND