Dynamic Relationship & Marriage

♥️Cultivating Resilient Relationships: The Foundation of Trust and Character

Welcome, faithful followers, to Dynamic Relationships and Marriage, where we delve into the essential elements that refine our connections and foster enduring marriages.

Marriage transcends the physical bond; it is fundamentally rooted in character. Character shapes our trustworthiness and our commitment to nurturing our relationships.

When individuals overlook responsibility, trust, and respect in their partnerships, no amount of physical intimacy can sustain the bond. If character comes into question, it undermines the very essence of the relationship, leading to fractures that can be challenging to mend.

Let us explore how to strengthen these vital qualities, ensuring our relationships stand resilient against the trials of life.

19 ROMANTIC THINGS TO DO THAT DON'T INVOLVE S*X

When romance is often mentioned, many think it is all about s*x. But romance is actually anything you do to your partner that communicate and show that him/her is special to you. Here are a few examples.

1. Calling your partner a special name that you wouldn't call any other person such "Honey", "Sweetheart"

2. Cooking together. This activity actually gives you two a chance to bond closer

3. Going out on dates to intimate places (not clubs) where you can look into each other's eyes and have heart to heart conversations

4. Pulling up her seat or holding her hand when she climbs up a stair case. Even though she can do this on her own, this makes her feel like you are mindful of her

5. Singing love songs together. This warms the heart

6. Covering each other in prayer. The most romantic thing is taking care of each other's spirit

7. Holding each other's hand as you walk.

8. Going out for walks, picnics and plays

9. If you have children, planning dates just for you two as you make plans for someone to take care of the kids. Children tend to kill romance if you are not deliberate about maintaining the fire

10. Talking on the phone till late about heart matters if you two are far from each other. If all you talk about till late is s*x then you are missing out on depth

11. Writing each other love letters. Yes, there is something special about reading each other's handwriting in this digital age. Leave a note for your partner on the pillow or post a letter if your partner is far away

12. Making him a warm drink as he works or going to see him with packed lunch. This shows that you have him in mind

13. Sending a parcel. There is something special about opening up a physical gift from the one you love

14. Praising each other publicly, whether in front of your friends, on social media or in social gatherings. But do this only when you love your partner well in private, otherwise it is just pretense

15. Writing each other poems, love songs or warm messages of how much you mean to each other

16. Sitting next to each other in church services as you read from the same Bible

17. Talking with your child/children about how you two met. Children love those stories of mom and dad. This reminds you two of how far your love has come

18. Wishing each other a good night and a good morning. Simple words but they mean alot

19. Having pillow talks on your marriage bed as you cuddle and be vulnerable with each other

Remember that is your life partner. Do and say things that communicate love. If you two are dating and your coming together is because of s*x, then you are missing out on a chance to build on a strong foundation on which your future will be built.

If you two are married and you stopped making each other feel special especially since the children came, or the only time you pay attention to each other is when you want s*x then you are weakening your marriage.

Bring true romance back.

© Dayan Masinde

9 RELATIONSHIP SECRETS EVERY SINGLE WOMAN SHOULD KNOW:

By Ngina Otiende

1. To The Brokenhearted: You Will Heal

The first time I suffered a relationship breakup, it took a year to recover. One year! I know you want to heal quicker and I hope you do too. And you can. But don’t hurry up the process because this place feels so sorry.

The truth is that what you bury now will resurrect in the next relationship. If you don’t take time to heal well (and healing well includes grieving well), you will carry the wounding into your next relationship. So don’t bury that which needs to be grieved.

Along the same line, don’t ignore that which needs to be addressed. Look at the person in the mirror (you) and take some responsibility. Listen to God and listen to what He’s saying. Also, in your grief, don’t forget to speak the Word of God over your grieving heart. Remember who God says you are; speak His Word, not your fears and devastation.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91: 1-2 NIV
Taking time to heal and grieve doesn’t mean lying in bed every night with a movie, box of tissue and chips. Yeah, sometimes it takes that. But a measured pace is more of an acknowledgment, “I cannot heal in a hurry” than a permanent location.

It might be the most difficult, most lonely, most miserable journey and everything within you is crying “run!” You’ll want to bury yourself with work, friends, maybe another guy, anything to forget this hurt. But a woman who is led of the Spirit is sensitive to godly pace. God might do a miracle, and you heal in a week, but if He doesn’t that’s okay too; you are not abnormal.

Sometimes you need to feel the pain to embrace the gain.
Speak with a mentor, press through the teary nights, stay busy with your life (don’t spiral into your own cocoon), serve others. If this late bloomer can get over a heartbreak, I have big hope for you too.

2. Trust Should Be Earned, Not Automatically Given

I know he’s a Christian. He likes you, and you like him back. But that doesn’t mean you should give your heart away just yet. Remember: we are silly when we are in-love (or in-like.)
It’s okay to tread slowly. To ask questions. To limit interaction if it’s moving too fast.

I know it feels like you need to make a decision really fast or he’ll slip through your fingers like the last one. But recognize that this one decision can potentially last a lifetime.

When Tommy and I were in the early stages of friendship, I had a big ball of impatience churning in my heart because I just wanted clarity. The whole playing coy and waiting to be chased sounded good on paper but it didn’t go well with my personality. But I made myself wait, through God’s grace. I hid my heart (especially because Tommy had said no once before!

I went slowly because you can’t evaluate and learn someone in a hurry. You can’t test yourself in a hurry. Hurry makes you give away those parts of your heart that should be given last.

3. Christian Husbands Are Found Within The Christian Faith

I know you have waited and waited and it seems like it will never happen. All the Christian guys at church (seem to) have blinders on and the ones who don’t are looking at other girls. Plus you’ve heard that Christian guys are as bad as those other guys when it comes to relationships. So you’ve decided to relax the rules a little bit, open yourself to other possibilities.

Allow me to offer insights from this other side called marriage, this side you are rushing to. Unless He likes Jesus now, before he dates or marries you, he’ll fight to like Him after he marries you. Oh, you believe it will be different, that missionary-dating and marriages are a breeze? Listen, I’ve heard from wives who are wrestling with unequal yoking (2 Corinthians 6:14), and I can deliver a solid answer; no it won’t be different. The Bible says a house divided against itself cannot stand. If you want to follow Jesus and the guy is halfhearted guess how that works out? The leader becomes the led. There’s tons of stress.

If He doesn’t know to wake up and go to church all by himself, you can’t make him in marriage (though you’ll try.) If he can’t love His creator with His whole heart by himself, he won’t love Him just because he married you.

What you date and marry is precisely what you get. We don’t change because we got married, we change because we decide to.

It doesn’t mean Christian men are perfect; they are not. But they have submitted their lives to God through a relationship with Jesus Christ, and that makes all the difference.

4. Christ-Centered Relationships Are Counter-Cultural And Counter-Flesh

So popular culture says “if it makes you feel good, go for it.” But Godly-sense teaches us to be suspicious of our hearts and to deny our flesh.

If you are going to have a healthy relationship that leads to marriage, you are going to have to walk contrary to the world and your flesh. I didn’t enjoy it when my sweet mentor talked about the straight and narrow road. You know what I thought when she’d say “that guy is bad news” or “don’t let that arm on your shoulder” or “I don’t think that’s the one for you, my dear”? I’d quietly think “but what do you know since you are married? You’ve been out of the game for so long; I doubt you understand how I feel. Plus you have a man, and I just want mine.”

Yeah, I reacted as though she walked out of the womb with a ring, with no idea what it mean to be single. But I valued her viewpoint because I knew she loved me. So I put her wisdom to work. Sharing that tidbit to say this; I know what it means to be upset by very high standards, particularly when the stated standards are being taught by a married woman. I found this scripture very encouraging to me. Matthew 21: 28 – 31 says
“There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’ ‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. “Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go. “Which of the two did what his father wanted?” “The first,” they answered.
Jesus shared this parable to help people understand the importance of obedience. The initial thought and attitude didn’t seem to count as much as that final act of obedience.
In other words, you can wrestle with instruction, and that’s okay as long as you go ahead and obey anyway; you can obey struggling.

The problem with our dating and relationships culture is that we want to feel right before we act right. Or we’ll nod our head to godly standards but go on and do our own thing, thinking that mental assent counts for something.

Our world says date until you find the right one, but God says trust me with all your heart, and I will give you your heart’s desire. Psalm 37:3-5

The world says sleep with a guy to test compatibility, but God says s*x, all of it, including the petting and the kissing and making out is to be reserved for a marriage relationship.

The world says a woman cannot live without s*xual release but God says purity is not merely a physical act, it proceeds from the inside.

Remember; you can wrestle with instruction (talk it out with God,) and that’s okay as long as you go ahead and obey it anyway.

5. A Wedding Ring Doesn’t Change Your Social Status

Honestly, I didn’t believe that a wedding ring doesn’t change people’s opinion about my life. But now I know! If someone’s not happy for me now as a single woman, chances are they’ll be unsatisfied with me as a married woman.

Look, when you are single people keep asking when you are getting married. Then you get married, and they ask when you are having a baby.

Then you get a kid, and they ask when he’s getting a little brother or sister. And it doesn’t stop. They’ll suggest how to be a better parent or a better wife or better person. So really, getting married does not “improve your social standing” with anyone. It might get you out of the singles arena, but it brings you into a whole other world where questions, opinions don’t stop. So we might as well quit wishing to get married as the cure and learn to take our angst to God instead.

6. Real Men Respect Godly Standards

Have you been told, “if you want to get a man you need to lower your standards?” I heard it multiple times. People said the man I was looking for did not exist. Guys said I was too churchy, too spiritual.

I wondered what was so wrong/archaic/stuck up about wanting a man who loves Jesus, with fruit to show? And then I noticed a theme. People who told me I had too high of standards? They had little or none of their own. I learned a big lesson: how to stop taking cues from people who weren’t moving in my direction! Men who love Jesus (genuinely love Him) respect standards.

They don’t push; they don’t take advantage, they don’t ask “how far is too far,” they don’t debate with Truth. If you see a guy who doesn’t respect your godly standards, lace up your shoes and run, sister. Because He lost respect for His Creator before he lost respect for you and there’s nothing you can do to fix that.

7. Don’t Expose Yourself To Negative News If You Want A Positive Relationship

When we want to invest our money, we look for the best financial advisers. When we want to go back to school, we look for classes that will best meet our needs. When we look for vacation spots, we look for what can fit our budget and give us the best experience.

So it’s interesting that we don’t do the same thing when it comes to the most critical life relationship; we allow ourselves to be influenced by people who have nothing good to say about marriage.

People whose bonds are broken and they are not ready to grow or learn. Not saying we can’t learn from other people’s mistakes (or everyone with a negative relationship experience has negative views.) But if we want to have good relationships, in God’s timing, we have to be ready to seek and listen to those whose relationships are actually working. Or people who have a godly perspective from negative experiences.

Don’t expose yourself to harmful views if you want to create a positive relationship. Quit watching those silly TV shows. Change that radio station. Delete that playlist that has nothing good to say about godliness. Take a leave from that friend who’s pushing you away from your godly standards.
Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says

8. Giving Wife Benefits Without A Husband Commitment Is Unwise

A while back, someone sent in a question, asking if it’s okay to submit to her boyfriend. Short answer? It’s not your place to start acting like a wife before you are one.

Not saying you can’t listen to your boyfriend or fiance and honor him and allow him to lead the relationship. After all, you start to learn certain marriage principles in courtship. But don’t give wife benefits without a husband commitment.

9. Getting Spiritual Covering Now Is One Of The Best Things You Can Do For Your Future Relationship

Do you know why you need a cover? Because we forget things. Oh, you vow not to call him back on Sunday night. But by Wednesday, the feelings are overwhelming to the point of caving in. (Or you spend a wasteful amount of energy, wishing and hoping for something that doesn’t even feel right.)

Sometimes we do the right thing because we know someone will be asking “so how was your week? or “hows that guy in your office who brought you flowers?”

It’s not that we don’t know what to do, sometimes we just need a little support and encouragement. The best time to cultivate a good mentoring relationship is when you don’t need it. Give someone permission to speak to your life now so that when you finally need input, you have a stable place to go.

There’s nothing more sad as requiring wisdom, but all the people around you are strangers. Take the time to build a healthy community now, and it will help you in future.

And those are my nine relationship secrets! Indeed there’s more than nine, and they might not seem so secret after all! But I learned most of these the hard way, as most of us do.

Marriage is a divine concept designed by God to fulfill His mission through families. The unity of purpose within marriages is crucial in achieving God's intentions for our communities. Here are ten ways in which marriages can help fulfill God's purpose in society:

1. Foundation of Families: Marriages create a stable environment for raising children, instilling values, and nurturing future generations who can contribute positively to society.

2. Modeling Love and Commitment: Strong marriages demonstrate unconditional love and commitment, serving as a model for others in the community, promoting healthy relationships.

3. Promoting Unity and Cooperation: Marriages encourage teamwork and collaboration, teaching spouses to work together toward common goals, which can inspire others to do the same.

4. Emotional Support: Couples provide emotional support to each other, fostering resilience and stability, which can ripple out to their families and communities, creating a supportive network.

5. Community Involvement: Married couples often engage in community activities together, from volunteering to participating in local events, thereby strengthening community ties.

6. Conflict Resolution: Healthy marriages exemplify effective conflict resolution strategies, which can influence others in the community to handle disputes in constructive ways.

7. Spiritual Growth: Marriages can serve as a foundation for spiritual growth, encouraging both partners to deepen their faith and engage in spiritual practices that benefit the wider community.

8. Resource Sharing: Couples can pool resources, skills, and talents, maximizing their impact in charitable works, support for local initiatives, and community service.

9. Mentorship: Married couples can mentor singles and younger couples, sharing experiences and guidance that can help build stronger family units within the community.

10. Witnessing God's Love: Through their relationship, couples can be a living testimony of God’s love and grace, inspiring others to seek a relationship with God and understand His purpose for their lives.

Understanding these principles, couples can live beyond themselves and significantly contribute to fulfilling God’s purpose within the community, creating a positive and lasting impact.

🌼 **Happy Easter!** 🌼

As we celebrate this season of renewal and hope, may your love for each other blossom like the spring flowers. Just as Easter brings new beginnings, may your relationship continue to grow stronger, filled with joy, understanding, and shared dreams.

Take time to appreciate the beauty of your bond and create cherished memories together. Here’s to love, laughter, and a beautiful journey ahead!

Wishing you both a joyful and blessed Easter!