Edikan Inim

DEAR DONALD,

I Am pleased to write you following your triumph at the polls but before I continue, let Me quickly congratulate Joe and Kamala for the roles they have played since taking office nearly four years ago.

Since I Am not an harbinger of war and its ilk, it is therefore needless for Me to remind you of the need to abhor anything that's capable of starting one.

However, I need to turn your attention with alacrity to the rot Richard Nixon has caused Nigeria in particular and Africa in general since removing gold as the backup for the US dollars in 1971 and the creation of petrodollars and the subsequent relegation of it into the down limit of determinants for a currency's performance in the international market and placing non-oil-export-dollars at the upper limits.

Since the Euro came onboard in 1999 till date the US has not made any attempt at ripping it off but decided to feast on the human life of Gaddafi which will therefore mean that if time permits, Africa, must enjoy the luxury of floating one currency and one passport in the AU, and While I work on how best to replace fiat money with a non-enslaving medium of exchange, let Me also prompt you to tell OPEC that I have seen the politics they are playing with the oil export quota allotted to countries around the world and that they should therefore straighten their rough edges before My appearance.

Lastly, remember that abortion is gone in its strict sense and any science fiction that tries to create room for it like ectopic pregnancy and various complications should be punished headlong. Everyone must stay in their homes and develop their yards. Pharmaceuticals have to go as you deem fit from where you stand because I can't see everything in that sector from where I stand. And of course, you know what to do with G8 turned 7.

Everyone standing trial for r**e must be struck out before November 26. What else do you want Me to say? LGBTQ? you know what to do based on what you know about the analysis I did on it: "there's no tension if you decide to stick with the original creation plan."

And lastly, welcome to White House again and remember that your have less than four years to right the wrongs.

REVIEW

A forth night ago, the Mediterranean Knights of Libya came visiting as tradition demanded as parts of the hurdles to determine which country will go through in the group to the 2025 African Cup of Nations, and I joined a host of Nigerian fans to see the game at the Godswill Akpabio stadium and interestingly, a gentleman once heralded as the Prince of Monaco in some sections of the media was also in the stadium to see the game and We were all ecstatic about the outcome although it was tagged a slander win but it was enough to fetch the Super Eagles all the three points.

I took up a role on AKBC TV and Radio as a pundit after not having a lot of opportunities to carve out a career on the pitch and after the curtains fell on the career of Victor Ikpeba, he also followed suit and joined Monday Night football crew on Supersport as a pundit and when next We meet We will discuss Rodri's Ballon D' Or which is FIFA's way of saying that I would have made a world best player as a defensive midfielder which I couldn't agree more with them.

It's important that We reward every other player in their various roles in making football the beautiful game it is and not just strikers and goal scorers.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Following the constitutional provisions for the reshuffling of cabinet to ensure efficiency in the executive arm of government, I hereby forward these names I have nominated for the office of Commissioners and Special Advisers to the Akwa Ibom State House of Assembly for screening and approval.

Thank you.

JUST BEFORE YOU CALL THE WEDDING PLANNER...

Keep meditating!