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Do you want to achieve raising kind, successful, intelligent, God-fearing and independent children but are frustrated by your child(ren)'s level of individuality and dogged determination towards their own choices?

Maybe you have tried talking to, and reasoning with your child(ren). You may have tried wielding the big stick approach, or even deprived them of certain things, all in a bid to get them to 'conform'. Perhaps you went as far as getting several like-minded people to try to talk some 'sense' into your child(ren) to no avail?

Maybe you have even begun to worry that you’ll end up with child(ren) who, having ignored the values of years passed down from generations in your family, end up with a set of displeasing values. Don’t worry, here in this write-up, I’m going to show you a way out.

Let me start by explaining why your approaches have not worked so well.

First of all, it is hard to succeed at trying to reason your position out with someone who is generations apart from you and as a result, is unable to even conceive the pictures you may paint. Wielding the big stick and depriving children of certain things tend to have the same effect; both create further misunderstanding and feelings of injustice leading them to become outright defiance, which is even more detrimental.
I am sure that now that you're paying attention, you can see the likely negative effects of getting other adults to talk to your child(ren), can you?

Fret no more! There is a better approach that will get you better results.

I introduce to you, the Family Values System Crafting.
This is an exercise, that creates an opportunity for members of your family to not only learn the personal values of every other member but to come together to discuss about and vote upon which will be the set of core values for your family. The selected values will be universal and be upheld by every member, irrespective of their personal values.

The FVS exercise helps members learn more about everyone in their family and understand what makes each do what they do and why. It promotes family time. It also encourages unity of purpose and promotes an assuredness of understanding goals the family wishes to achieve and be known for. The FVS exercise helps put everyone on the same page.

The transformations with the families that have participated in building their Family Values System have been phenomenal and yours can be just as phenomenal, if not more.

Was this useful? If it was, please go ahead and send me a comment to let me know how useful this was for you, and I look forward to being a part of your success story.

Regards,
Doyinsola
Behaviour Analyst
Master NLP Practitioner
Educational Consultant
+234 905 728 4583
[email protected]

The Mumu Don Do!

Who is your role model? Better still, who is your child's role model? How did you pick your child's role model?

I remember years ago, around 2007, our young daughters were inundated with everything Hannah Montana. It was so rife, my sensiblity was offended so I advised parents against getting on the bandwagon.

A few years down the line, dear 'role model', Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus went south.

Oftentimes, parents themselves set up the stage (complete with gilded stairs) for your golden youngsters to fail. Or how can you explain flooding children with clothes, shoes, socks, bags, bottles, bowls, wristwatches, beddings, nightwear, furniture books, cups and plate, spoons and more, all themed upon an individual about whom little is known of their personal existence?

For all we know, there are probably several parents who have been on their young to emulate certain 'successful' people, such as he who is undeserving of the honour of being a 30 under 30.

What absolutely vexes me is the ignorance displayed by the parents who promote the idolation, not knowing a single thing about the 'idol' or even about the role(s) the 'idol' plays. Rather, they join the band wagon to give their children what others are giving to theirs, in order to 'keep up with, or better still, show that they are placed higher than the Joneses.

Enough of the blind copycat syndrome! From here onwards, adults need to learn who a role model is as well as how to pick one, and this starts with identifying your own personal values. There is a great need for you to be mindful that no one person is perfect, particularly in these days of heightened vices. As such, a better approach may be to identify the trait worthy of emulation, modelling in any individual and focus on that aspect only.

Personally, I believe that the persons best worthy of being 'role models' are individuals who have proven themselves and passed on upon great honour.

Remember, the values you inculcate in your children today will determine how they will value you in your feeble old age.