Solution Best

This is a joke I found on the Internet

I was a very happy person.

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me , it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was always flirting with me. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and whisper some dirty words to me, smiling. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her underwear and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.we couldn't ask for better man for our daughter.

We’ve Not Began Sales Of Forms – JAMB

The Joint Admissions and Matriculations Board has warned parents and guardians to disregard reports that the 2017 Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination form is out . According to the board, the sale of forms will commence as soon as its reorganisation process ends .

Head of Information , JAMB , Dr . Fabian Benjamin , said this on Thursday in a telephone interview with our correspondent .

The board had last month met with officials of the West African Examinations Council , The National Examination Council and the National Business and Technical Examination Board , among other bodies , to harmonise their calendars.

However , some parents who spoke with our correspondent said they were disappointed that the form had yet to be sold .

But Benjamin , who noted that the board had met with operators of Computer - based Test Centres in preparation for the sale of the UTME form , urged parents and prospective candidates to exercise patience .

He added that plans were on to have a single centre where physically -challenged candidates could write their examinations .

He said , “ We are having an ongoing reorganisation process and we will sell the forms as soon as possible . Anyone selling JAMB forms should be handed over to the police . We are working on having all physically -challenged candidates to write their examinations in one centre . We are still planning for it, but we hope to get there soon . ”

EKSU Amended Academic Calendar For Fresh And Returning Students 2016/2017

The management of Ekiti State University (EKSU) has amended the academic calendar for 2016/2017 academic session.

Consequently the breakdown of academic activities for fresh and returning student is now as follows;

Proposed Academic Calendar for First And Second Semesters Of 2016/2017 Session for 100 Level Students (Amended)

FIRST SEMESTER 2016/2017 SESSION
Monday, 5th December, 2016 - Resumption of 100 level students
Monday, 5th December, 2016 - Registration begins
Wednesday, 7th December, 2016 - Orientation Programme begins
Friday, 9th December, 2016 - Orientation Programme ends
Monday, 12th December. 2016 - Lectures begin
Monday, 19th December, 2016 - Christmas break begins
Sunday, 1St January, 2017 - Christmas break ends
Monday, 2nd January, 2017 - Resumption
Friday, 6th January, 2017 - Registration ends
Monday, 9th January, 2017 - Registration with penalty begins
Friday, 20th January, 2017 - Registration with penalty ends
Monday, 20th February, 2017 - Continuous Assessments begin
Friday, 24th February, 2017 - Continuous Assessments end
Friday, 24th March, 2017 ~ Lectures end
Monday, 27th March, 2017 - Revisions begin
Friday, 31st March, 2017 - Revisions end
Monday, 3rd April, 2017 - Examinations begin
Thursday, 13th April, 2017 - Examinations end

Summary
Online Registration/Orientation = 2 weeks
Lectures = 13 weeks
Examinations = 2 weeks
Total = 17 weeks

SECOND SEMESTER 2016/2017 SESSION
Monday, 17th April, 2017 - Resumption of 100 level students
Monday, 17th April, 2017 - Registration/Lectures begin
Friday, 5th May, 2017 - Registration ends
Monday, 8th May, 2017 - Late Registration with penalty begins
Friday, 19th May, 2017 - Late Registration with penalty ends
Monday, 22nd May, 2017 - Continuous Assessments begin
Friday, 26th May. 2017 - Continuous Assessments end
Friday, 21st July, 2017 - Lectures end
Monday. 24th July, 2017 - Revisions begin
Friday, 28th July, 2017 - Revisions end
Monday, 31st July, 2017 ~ Examinations begin
Friday, 18th August, 2017 - Examinations end

Summary
Registration/Lectures - 15 Weeks
Examinations - 3 Weeks
Total: 18 Weeks

Proposed Academic Calendar for First And Second Semesters Of 2016/2017 Session for 200 – 500 Level Students (Amended)

FIRST SEMESTER 2016/2017 SESSION
Monday, 24th October, 2016 - Resumption of returning students
Monday, 24th October, 2016 - Registration begins for returning students
Monday. 31St October, 2016 - Lectures begin for returning students
Friday, 4th November, 2016 - Registration ends for returning students
Monday, 7th November, 2016 - Registration with penalty begins for returning
students
Monday. 21st November, 2016 - Registration with penalty ends
Monday, 12th December, 2016 - Continuous Assessments begin
Friday, I6th December, 2016 - Continuous Assessments end
Monday, 19th December, 2016 - Christmas break begins
Sunday, 1st January, 2017 - Christmas break ends
Monday, 2nd January, 2017 - Resumption
Monday, 20th. February, 2017 - Revisions begin
Friday, 24th February, 2017 - Revisions end
Monday, 27th February, 2017 - Examinations begin for returning students
Friday, 17th March, 2017 - Examinations end for returning students

Summary
Registration online - 1 week
Registration online/Lectures - 15 weeks
Examinations - 3 weeks
Total= 19 weeks

SECOND SEMESTER 2016/2017 SESSION
Monday, 3rd April, 2017 - Resumption of returning students
Monday, 3rd April, 2017 - Registration/Lectures begin
Thursday, 13th April. 2017 - Registration ends for 200-500 level students
Friday, 14th April, 2017 - Easter holiday begins
Monday, 17th April, 2017 - Easter holiday ends
Tuesday, 18th April, 2017 - Late registration with penalty begins
Friday, 28th April, 2017 - Late registration with penalty ends
Monday. 8th May, 2017 - Continuous Assessments begin
Friday, 12th May. 2017 - Continuous Assessments end
Friday, 30th June, 2017 - Lectures end
Monday. 3rd July. 2017 - Revisions begin
Friday, 7th July, 2017 - Revisions end
Monday, 10th July, 2017 - Examinations begin
Friday, 28th July. 2017 - Examinations end

Summary
Registration/Lectures - 14 weeks
Examinations - 3 weeks
Total: 17 weeks

Receptionist at Bridge International Academies
Lagos, NG
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WHO WE ARE

Bridge International Academies is the world’s largest chain of primary and pre-primary schools. We democratize the right to succeed by giving families living in poverty access to the high-quality education that will allow their children to live a very different life. We leverage experts, data, and technology in order to standardize and scale every aspect of quality education delivery, from how and where academies are built to how teachers are selected and trained, and how lessons are delivered and monitored for improvement. We are vertically-integrated, tech-enabled, and on our way to profitability.

ABOUT THE ROLE

We are looking for a pleasant Front Desk Representative to undertake all receptionists, administrative and clerical duties at the desk of our main entrance. You will be the “face” of the Company for all visitors and will be responsible for the first impression we make.

The ideal candidate will have a friendly and easy going personality while also being very perceptive and disciplined. You should be able to deal with complaints and give accurate information. A customer-oriented approach is essential. The front desk officer must be willing to work whatever hours and times that are needed to get things done. You are to provide customer service to staff and client at all times.

The goal is to make guests, visitors and staff feel comfortable and valued while on our premises.

WHAT YOU WILL DO

Overseeing all aspects of general office coordination
Greeting and welcoming guests
Receiving, sorting and distribution of incoming mail
Preparing all outgoing mail
Receiving and directing all visitors to appropriate contacts
Coordinating and maintaining records for office keys and staff identification cards
Handling enquires at the front desk
Setting up and coordinating meetings and conferences
Arranging for repairs and maintenance of office equipment
Managing office calendar and booking meeting rooms to coordinate work flow and meetings
Management of meeting rooms
Maintaining the visitors’ register
Working with the security detail to track all visitors
Supervising and coordinating activities of janitors and office assistants
Assist with event planning and implementation
Taking up other duties as assigned.

WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE

or HND
At least 2 years or more relevant experience
Excellent verbal and written communication skills
Computer skills including the ability to operate spreadsheets, power points and word processing programs
Knowledge of principles and practices of basic office management and organization
Knowledge of customer service principles and practices
Exemplary presentation skills and customer handling techniques
Ability to work well either alone or as part of a team.
Good writing, analytical and problem-solving skills
Good time management skills and ability to multitask
Must be confident and able to remain calm under pressure
Ability to operate standard office equipment including but not limited to telephone systems, copiers, printers, faxes and scanners
Ability to follow oral and written instructions
Outstanding administration skills
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http://jobs.omidyar.com/jobdetail.php?jobid=642868

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