The Phos

I have repeatedly seen in this my generation that we are gradually closing out marrying the will of God, depending on God to pick a spouse for you.

One of the cardinal points of faith that the previous generation had was emphasis on hearing God.
"Receive"

But today we have so many other means of picking spouses, you hear them saying *ten things to look out for in a wife,* *fifteen things to look out for in a husband. How to find the man of your dreams?*. *How to know if he's the one, how to know if he loves you and all the other "Hows"

They say make sure you have conversations, sit down and talk check out his mindset his thought processes and all of that and it looks as though that's what you need the most to pick a spouse.

My generation is gradually walking into Marriage using their own strength and their own wisdom to pick a spouse.

If we trust God with our life we trust him to protect us, to provide for us to take care of us as we say we do as Christians then we should be able to trust him with the choice of a life partner, because truthfully scripture says that the heart of man is deceitful and desperately wicked, who can know it?
The next verse says I the Lord!

If you pick a spouse based on an interview session you had with the person, maybe they they said fifteen questions to ask the person you want to marry. Trust me if that person has any interest in you, they are going to give you the answers they know you want to hear, of course most times they are also in church, they know the language of the church.

For example someone has been asking you out and you now want to make your decision, you sit the person down and say what do you think about beating women or a story of someone that beats his wife?

What do you want him to tell you?

You want him to tell you "ah that's very good it's good to beat women*,

Except in movies or when God decides to intervene miraculously, he's not going to say that to you.

He is going to say "that's very barbaric and nobody should be beating women" until you marry him and mistakenly pour water on him then you understand that that interview session was a lie .

Even you when you go out for interviews to get a job, do you tell them the whole truth?
When they say can you work under pressure, don't you say ah pressure is how I work best, pressure is the food I eat but by the time they start giving you resume by seven close by ten. We see you online talking about toxic bosses

And then that is how we want to go ahead and pick spouses by the things they told us.
Others would use the scheme of Observations.
Watch the way he treat his sisters and his mother have we not heard stories of men that team up with their sisters to beat up their wives or a woman that bring her brothers to come and beat the man.
How comes we think that because she was being so nice to her daddy and her brothers she's going to make a good wife.

Alright somebody is going to say. what if our thought processes don't align.
I am not saying don't have conversations about things or marrying someone chosen by God is a free ticket to your marriage being blissful. Of course marriage is hard work but let me ask you, if someone chosen by God is not enough, is it someone some one chosen by emotions, discussion or observation that would work.

In fact your courtship should be full of deep conversations you talk about finances, you talk about parenting patterns, home structure and so many other issues.

What I'm saying is that the outcome of those conversations should not be your ONLY bedrock for making a choice and emphasis on the word ONLY.

These conversations should bring prayer pointers, issues to raise during the counselling sessions, things that you are going to be discussing with the spiritual authority over the both of you that's what these conversations should birth.

Now I'm saying this to people who are getting married to children of God not somebody that the pastor is trusting God for his/her salvation or someone who is dating unbelievers.

Am talking about people who are Christians truly and want to get married to Christians too but are caught up with what the society is painting like we can go ahead and pick a spouse in our own wisdom by asking them questions or by observing them.

Christian Marriage is not for self satisfaction. or Pleasure alone, it's for warfare, if God is giving you a spouse, it's because he wants to use that union for a purpose so I believe the person who wants to use the union should be the one choosing the union.

Like I said I'm talking to Christians, children of God who have the spirit of God. if you don't know when last you studied and prayed and you are not even sure about your salvation you are not on this table because it means God is notveven thinking marriage for you God is more concerned about your salvation right now I'm talking about people who have a work with God and when it comes to this table of marriage they are confused and want to follow the trend.

Sadly some of this information and Observation theory are in "sermons" so before you go ahead and conduct that interview session for that sister or that brother.

Have you heard God about the person ?
What is God saying about the relationship.

Let me also say this, one of the signs and proofs that you've heard God concerning that person is not just yes or no. God is not just going to say yes marry him no don't marry her. He is going to also give instructions so when you are saying ah Mima I've heard God.
God told me to go ahead.
What other things did God say apart from the yes.
What are the instructions? What is the assignment? What is the purpose?

It's s not just God saying yes, if all you had is a yes or a no you need to sit down and enquire further, dig further and get more substance about that step you are about to take. Those instructions must definitely be coming from God if they are coming from your wisdom or from observation or from your question and answer session trust me they are not strong enough to commit your life to.
We need to be able to trust God that knows today tomorrow and even yesterday.
He sees the whole picture, ensure you pick A SPOUSE depending TOTALLY AND ONLY ON HIM!

SHOULD I MARRY?

The people you surround yourself with can significantly shape your thoughts, behaviors, and outcomes.

If you desire progressive growth with God, then surround yourself with Godly people.