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I once asked a lady, "What type of man would you love to marry?"

You should have seen her list—it was endless! She wanted a financially stable man, God-fearing, hardworking, and so much more. When she was done listing all her expectations, I asked her one simple question that caused a fight.

I said, "The men who have been with you so far, how many of them meet these criteria?"

She got offended immediately. But think about it—how can you set such high standards for the man you want to marry, yet lower those standards for the men you entertain casually? You say you want a God-fearing husband, but the men you let into your life every weekend—are they God-fearing or something else?

So, you allow "bad boys" to have their fun with you, yet you expect your future husband to accept what’s left? Does that even make sense?

Here’s the hard truth: if you keep living recklessly and only decide to change when time is against you, don’t be surprised when good partners elude you. A good man or woman doesn’t just appear when you’re tired of playing around—you have to be what you seek.

If you want a God-fearing man, you must also be godly. If you desire a financially stable partner, then work towards being financially stable yourself. You can’t be lazy and stingy yet expect a rich, loving man to fall for you.

Relationships and marriages thrive on reciprocity. Whatever you expect from a partner, be prepared to give it in return. Double standards will never work.

The bottom line? Keep yourself for the kind of person you hope to spend your life with.

A poor man often believes that the wealth of the rich comes from luck, while the rich man thinks the poor are lazy and remain poor because of their own shortcomings. A young woman who marries early might judge those struggling to find a partner as having bad character. A man who lands a job right after graduation may feel he is more intelligent than others. Similarly, a woman who gets married and starts having children may look down on women without children, assuming they led wayward lives.

If only the poor understood the struggles the rich endured to reach their success, and if only the rich could truly see the battles the poor face, no one would form opinions about one another without understanding the full picture. If the poor cannot appreciate the success of the rich, they should mind their own business—if becoming rich were easy, they wouldn't be poor. And if the rich can't help the poor grow, they should at least avoid discouraging their efforts.

If we truly knew the pain, challenges, and battles people face behind closed doors, we would thank God for our own lives. Until we walk in someone else's shoes, we cannot understand the difficulties of their journey.

Let us help each other grow, mock less, and love one another more.

SIGNS YOU HAVE FOUND A GOOD MAN

1. HE LOVES GOD

A GOOD MAN is first of all a GOD MAN.

Everything he does, how he treats you are motivated by his love for God. He treats you right because he loves and fears God.

He seeks to draw you close to the THRONE ROOM of God daily, and not to his BEDROOM.

He is concerned about spiritual growth, and engages you on a spiritual journey of growth and intimacy with the Father, your relationship with him bears semblance to the three fold cord that can not be broken because he always brings God into it.

2. HE IS HONEST.

He is honest about his feelings for you, he is honest about his intentions, what he wants from you, he is honest about when he sees/wants the relationship to end in marriage. He tells you everything

He is honest to you about his finances, his career, his life, his family etc.

He is trust worthy, transparent in all his dealings, he never lies just to impress because it is not his nature.
He has Integrity you can see, he doesn't make promises he cannot keep, he keeps 90% of his promises.

3. HE RESPECTS YOU

He doesn't treat you with contempt or disregard, the way he talks to you, with so much care and love, like a friend, not a boss.

He treats you like a princess, respects your wishes, your privacy and personal space, he doesn't cross certain boundaries because he respects you and your body.

He doesn't flirt with ladies or cheat on you because he respects you, your feelings and the relationship.

He extends the respect he has for you to your friends, guardians and family, the way he talks about them and talks to them is respectful.

4. HE MAKES EFFORT

He makes effort to keep any Promises he makes to you, if he tells you he will at a place by 6pm, he makes effort to be there

He makes efforts to please you, he's always doing things just to make you happy, even if he is inconvenienced in the process, like staying up all night to talk to you when you want his attention.

He makes effort to stay in touch with you, no matter how busy his schedule, no matter how busy he is, he'll make out time to stay in touch, call you, visit you, hang out with you regularly.

He makes effort, changes his routines, his lifestyle, his habits, his dressing, just to make you happy.

5. HE LISTENS

He asks for your opinions, because he treasures them, because he has great regard for not just your body, but you mind.

He consults you before he takes decisions, and considers what you say and seeks to implement them.

He takes corrections from you happily and with humility and adjusts accordingly.

6. HE TREATS YOU WITH LOVE

He loves you, and you see it in his eyes, you hear it in his words, and you feel it from his actions.

He texts, calls, visits, holds you lovingly, buys you gifts for no reason, and plans for the future with you. He doesn't use you to joke because you mean the world to him.

7. HE SUPPORTS YOU

He supports you in anything you wish to do, he is your number one fan and cheerleader, he supports your everyday hustle, your dreams and passions, financially and otherwise.

He aupports you in your business with ideas, encouragement, prayers, he is always there for you when you need him, he's a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear when you Wan to rant, and a friend to you.

8. He's after your soul, not your body.

He wants to marry you, has said so and is willing to wait till marriage for s*x.
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If you have such a Man, appreciate him, pray for him, treasure him, and don't let him go.

As a daughter of God, believing God for a husband, continually ask God for such a Man in prayers using scriptures, and position yourself accordingly..
If he could give his only begotten son to die for you, is it a good husband he can't give you?

Believe and Keep on asking till you get it. Don't get tired, your testimony is close..
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HONEST QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE

1. Are you really OK? Please answer me as your friend

2. What parts of your childhood experience would you not want us to repeat in our marriage and parenting?

3. What parts of your childhood experience would you want us to apply in our marriage and parenting?

4. Are there traits in me you fell in love with when we were starting that I have stopped having? What do you miss about me?

5. Do I provide a good environment for you to talk to me about anything?

6. Where would you like to be as an individual five years from now?

7. Where would you like us to be as a couple and family five years from now?

8. On a scale of 0 to 10. How fulfilled are you with our marriage s*xually? 0 being poor, 10 being excellent. What can we do to improve?

9. On a scale of 0 to 10. How fulfilled are you with our marriage emotionally? 0 being poor, 10 being excellent. What can we do to improve?

10. On a scale of 0 to 10. How fulfilled are you with our marriage spiritually? 0 being poor, 10 being excellent. What can we do to improve?

11. Do you think I know your love language? Do I love you as you need to be loved?

12. Is there anything I have done in the recent past that has hurt you and you feel has not been addressed?

13. Please use one word to describe the season we are currently in

14. Are we OK as a couple?

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