Master Mike

Let me see if you are not going to laugh 😂😂
Afternoon jokes 🤣😂🤣🤣

1)do u realize that when u are m@dly in love, even !nsūlt sounds líke birthday wishes 😂😂😂😂😂

2)I may not be able to däte all the beautiful girls in this group, but I will view their profile picture zoom it and touch their br£āsts 😋😋😋😋😋 bē@t me if u can 🙄🙄this was the saying of a m@d man 😁😁😁😁😁😁

3)I gave my dog w£ed today to make him to be sharp and bråve, can you imagine I have been runn!!ng since morning 🙆🙆😢😢🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

4)my neighbor just found 1k in his old troúsers,I hope my tróuser is seeing wat other troúsers are doing 😁😁😁😁

5) I'm in my neighbors house and they are about to eat, am seeing 4 plates and we are 5, I wonder who is not hūñgry 🤔🤔🤔🤔

6)dear future kids u will either drink pap or cowbell milk brē@st is for daddy don't come and inconven!ēnce me 😏😏😏😏

7) after lóôsing a f!ght u get home and start im@gining all the kunfu skills u could have done to b£at the person, mūmū 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

8) for those of u who read my jokes after laughing u did not líke nor cômments.
Pronounce these words very fast
🔵Eye
🟤Yam
🔴Stew
🟣Peed😁😁

Season 2 laughter 😁 😁 😁 😁

1. When your partner is bathïng, just shöut “baby you thought I don’t know your passwörd, so what’s all this nönsense in your phone”...🙄

My Brother, you will make someone to stay in the bathroom the whole day thinking of answers to give you 🤭😂😂
2. Welcome to Nigerïa, where Only black people will mute the TV to smëll what’s bürning 🤭😂😂
3. I decided to gist with this my stübb0rn girlfriënd today...🙄
Me: “What is your Favourite colour? 🥰
Favour: “Stop asking me stüpid question, ask me something logical and mature instead...🙄
Me: “How many moles of Sodium Bicarbonate (III) are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of Sulphuric açid at S.T.P? 😒
Favour: “My favourite colour is Pink... 🙄🤭😂😂
Abeg wetin dey happen???😂😂
4. The str£ngth we use to stand up from our chairs and sh0ut GOAL when w

A professor finds himself sitting next to a farmer on a train. Bored, the professor decides to propose a game to pass the time.

“I’ll ask you a question,” the professor says. “If you can’t answer, you give me $5. Then, you ask me a question. If I can’t answer, I’ll give you $500. What do you say?”

The farmer nods in agreement.

The professor starts, “What is the distance between the Earth and the Moon?”

The farmer silently pulls out $5 and hands it to the professor.

Now it’s the farmer’s turn. He asks, “What animal has three legs when climbing a mountain and four legs when coming down?”

The professor is stumped. He racks his brain, searches for logical explanations, and even consults his notebook, but he can’t find an answer. Frustrated, he hands over $500 to the farmer.

The farmer takes the money with a smile and leans back to take a nap.

Curious and unwilling to let it go, the professor shakes the farmer awake and asks, “Alright, what animal is it?”

The farmer silently pulls out $5, hands it to the professor, and goes back to sleep.

FUNNY FACTS ABOUT GIRLS WITH BIG FOREHEAD 😂😂( By Mborah)
① Girls with big foreheads don't need a phone screen protector—they already have extra display space. 😂

② If she says, "Read my mind," you might have enough forehead to start. 😅

③ A girl with a big forehead never worries about running out of space for baby hairs. 😂😂

You gerrit 😂

④ Her forehead enters the room before the rest of her. 🤣

Fact

⑤ Makeup artists see her forehead and say, "We need more foundation!" 😂

⑥ She doesn't need a vision board—her forehead is big enough for all her goals. 😭😂

You gerrit 😂

⑦ Her forehead has its own weather forecast. 🌤️🤣

⑧ If intelligence had parking space, her forehead would fit it all. 😂

⑨ Selfies become panoramic by default. 📸😂

Ask me ..
Lemme explain

⑩ Her forehead is so spacious, Wi-Fi gets better reception there. 😂🤣

⑪ When she wears a cap, the cap asks for more fabric. 😂

⑫ Her forehead is so famous, her eyebrows live in another postcode. 🤣😂😂

⑬ She saves money on mirrors—half her face is already in view. 😂😂😂

⑭ Her forehead has enough space to host a family meeting. 😭😂

⑮ Even mosquitoes get tired before crossing it. 🦟🤣

⑯ Her hairline is always observing social distancing. 😂😂😂

Don't argue with me...

⑰ The sun shines on her forehead before sunrise. 🌞🤣😂😂

Yehhhh... Precious why did you throw this stone ...

⑱ If foreheads were football fields, she'd qualify for the World Cup. ⚽😂

⑲ She doesn't need a whiteboard—her forehead has enough writing space. 😅😂

⑳ Her forehead is so big, when she says "think big," she's speaking from experience. 🤣😂

㉑ Her forehead has enough space to land a toy helicopter. 🚁😂

㉒ .... PRECIOUS ROOM...

㉓ Her forehead is so wide, Google Maps asks you to zoom in. 🗺️😂😂

㉔ When she gets surprised, her forehead reacts five seconds before her face. 😂🤣😂

㉕ Her forehead is so legendary, even her fringe is working overtime to cover it. 😂😂

EXTRA..
If you annoy her, please avoid standing

Different typ£s of Wómen, you can see in b£d.*👨🏻‍🦱😁😁

1. *The ones that wants it, but they don't know how to ask for it. Some will be like 'be there and be pressing your phone, 0nce it's 4.30 am le@ving ooooooo'😀😀😆😆😆

2. *The ones that will be shøut!ng h@rder h@rder but if you ask them to cl!mb, they will rîde for 40 secs, come down and be br£athing he@vily.*
Sorry you think it's £asy.*
🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

3. *The ones that will watch you r£m0ve their top, r£move their tr0us£rs, and as you are about to dr@w their p@nt, they will be like; wait, what are you trying to do? My sister, he want to wash it, mtcheww.*
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

4. *The ones that will start feeling b@d about the whole thing and be like: finally, you have g0tt£n what you want, hope you are happy now.*
*Babe, he is 0verjoyed ooooo*
😁😁😁😁😁

5. *The ones that you didn't t0ast before now. So after s*x they will be like, so what are we now.*
*My sister, we are s!ññ£rs.*🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
😂😂😂😂😂😂

6. *The ones that once you guys start k!ssing, they will use their h@nds to weigh the size of the cassava as to pr£pare their mind on what they are about to t@ke in.*
*You see them br£ he@vily when the cassava is big.*
😂😂😂🥰🥰😂😂😂😂

As a guy wh!ch have you £xperienced before?🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️
And as a lady wh!ch number are you???😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

what level is your Relationship at now ?? foundation, window level, Roofing, painting,or you have land issues??💔🤣🤣🤣

STŪPID ANSWERS FOR STÜPID QUESTIONS

1. Someone calls you at 2am and asks “Are you sleeping?”
Ans: No, I’m picking beans. 😒😒🙄🤭

2. You’re making out with a girl then you start pulling her pänts then
she asks; “what are you trying to do?
Ans: I want to wash them for you 🙄😒🤭

3. They see you coming out of the bathroom, wait oo; and asked “Did you just have a bath?'”
Ans: No, I fell into the toilet bowl 😏🙄🤭

4. You’re standing right in front of the elevator on the ground floor going to your office, yet they ask; '“Are you going up?”
Ans: No, I’m waiting for my office to come down and meet me! 🙄😒🤭

5. Your boyfriend comes home with a bunch of flowers and you still ask him; '“Are those flowers?”
Ans: No baby, they’re carrots! 😒🤭

6. You’re in the queue at the cinema to buy tickets, a friend sees you and asks; “What are you doing here?”
Ans: I’m here to pay my school fees! 😒🙄🤭

7. When people see you lying down with your eyes closed, they still ask; '“are you sleeping?'”
Ans: No! I’m practicing how to dïe. 🙄😒🤭

8. You went to a restaurant and the waiter asks you: “Please can I get you a table?”
Ans: No. I’m here to eat on the floor.😏🙄

9. You are on the queue at the bank ATM withdrawal slot and one of the person just coming asks you “Are you waiting for the ATM”
Ans: No, we came to vote again 🙄😒🤭

10. Are you reading this post?
Ans:.....?🙄

I don't know why woman are so hārd 😩🤦🏻‍♂️........My wife went out leaving our new b0rn baby 👶 in the hands of our pretty maid 💁‍♀️ the little b0y k£pt ¢ry!ng 😭 and the maid did all she can, But he kept ¢rying till she br0ught 0ut her br£ws😳 to g!v£ him......

As the small boy was sūcking the be£ws 😶‍🌫️ I entered and saw it, I was so 😡 and āfra!d 😨 that he could contact some form of a dis£ås£ 😷, I sh0uted at th£ g!rl 😤 but sh£ told m£ that nothing was coming out of th£ br£ws😐, I did not believe her 🤨 I decided to sū€k the br£ws t0o to c0nfirm 😭🤦🏻‍♂️.......

As I was sūck!!ng the br£ws children of G0d to see ìf som£th!ng go c0me 0ut😳... My wif£ cam£ 😳 upon all my explanation she refūsed to understand 😭💔.

As I'm typing this now I'm still outside 🤕🥺

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To every lady who doesn't borrow shoes 👠, wigs, bags👜 & clothes to impress men. May God bless you financially. I love u all.🙏🏽

Precious, I told you that the lady you saw in my phone is my sister, and you're asking if it’s by blood? No, it’s by zobo. 🥱😂🤲