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High-translucent zirconia crowns — before & after transformation ✨

Agoraphobic, dentophobic, and living with FND — I’m feeling hopeless.

Am I in serious trouble? Could this kill me if I can’t get to a dentist? What if I physically can’t endure the procedure because I still feel everything, even with numbing?

I’m honestly terrified. Most of the time I dissociate from this so heavily that I can barely even think about it, let alone talk about it. But tonight I’m scared enough to finally ask for help, reassurance, advice… anything.

I’ve been very inconsistent with dental treatment over the years.

TL;DR: I’m mentally ill, severely dentophobic, and dealing with FND. This tooth ( #2) was shattered during what I believe was a dental malpractice incident back in 2019. Ever since then, dental procedures have been traumatic for me, especially because numbing injections barely seem to work — I can still feel intense pain no matter how many shots they give me. I have multiple cavities, but this one is the worst. The nerve was removed at some point, and the tooth has continued rotting away over the years. This is what it looks like now.

The full story is a bit long, but please bear with me.

Back in 2019, I was homeless and uninsured. Against my better judgment, I went to a dental van parked outside the shelter I was staying at because I had a painful cavity in my back right wisdom tooth. I thought it would just be a simple filling and I’d be done.

During the procedure, I suddenly heard and felt a loud *CRACK*. A dental tool had broken in my mouth and slammed into the tooth in front of the one they were working on. They immediately told me not to move or swallow while they collected broken pieces from my mouth — and I honestly think some of those pieces may have been parts of my tooth.

They barely addressed it afterward and just finished filling the cavity.

A few hours later, the pain became unbearable. I can barely remember parts of it because of how intense it was. I also noticed a razor-sharp edge cutting into my tongue and cheek every time I moved my mouth. Eventually I filed the sharp part down myself because I couldn’t take it anymore.

The pain and tenderness lasted over a week. Then one day, while I was talking, a chunk of tooth literally fell into my hand. I assumed it was the filling.

I went to the ER, and they told me tooth #2 had actually been shattered. Completely fractured into pieces. The sharp edge I had filed down was part of that tooth, not the one they filled. The piece that fell out? Also part of the shattered tooth.

They also told me the original filling in tooth #1 was already crumbling and that I’d likely lose that tooth too without a root canal.

Years have passed since then. I eventually had the wisdom tooth removed, but I never got the shattered tooth properly treated.

It’s been checked by dentists multiple times over the years, but because of finances, worsening fear, agoraphobia, and the increasing complexity of treatment, I’ve never been able to fully follow through. What started as “maybe a filling” turned into “needs a root canal,” and now apparently it needs to be extracted.

I also have other cavities that are getting worse.

Last year I genuinely tried to start treatment again, but the appointment had to stop because I could still feel everything despite repeated numbing injections. We spent 20–30 minutes trying to get me numb enough just to continue, and it never fully worked.

I’ve recently been diagnosed with Functional Neurological Disorder (FND), and part of me wonders if the extreme fear and neurological issues are affecting how my body processes pain or anesthesia. I honestly don’t know.

Because of all of this — the trauma, agoraphobia, chronic mental illness, fear, dissociation — I’ve avoided dealing with it. Now the tooth looks like this. The gum around it becomes swollen and painful if I don’t constantly brush, floss, and manually clean the cavity out. I sometimes use iodine on it when it gets irritated. I think a dentist removed the nerve at some point because it stopped having deep nerve pain years ago.

I know this is bad. I know I’ve avoided it too long.

I guess what I’m asking is:
Am I in immediate danger? Could this become life-threatening if I still can’t get treatment soon? And what are people supposed to do when they physically cannot tolerate dental procedures, even with anesthetic?

I’m exhausted and scared and honestly ashamed. If anyone has advice, reassurance, similar experiences, or even just kind words, I would really appreciate it.