Femplus

Great piece on Stress urinary incontinence surgery.
Thanks to Dr O’Sullivan and all the hospital colleagues who are fighting hard to ensure proper medical treatment is available for patients who need it.
Listen back on drivetime playback 17th of july.

IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE LOW DESIRE
You should ask yourself these questions:
-do you ever notice your body turning on in response to a s*x scene on tv?
-dose desire kick in once you have started having s*x?
-do you and your partner know what triggers your desire?
-does s*x start the same way, follow the same order each time?
-how pleasurable is your s*x experience?
-how does s*x make you feel in comparison to other things you might think are a better use of your time?

S*x communication is really difficult in a relationship, more difficult in a long term relationship.
Also difficult is to maintain s*xual currency.
Passionate kissing is one of the most natural triggers but is usually only done before or during s*x. It does not have to be just done to initiate s*x but can be used to maintain closeness and desire.
Many women feel the need for closeness but they avoid it because they are afraid it will lead to s*x and they refrain from general physical contact.

What intervention are needed?
-you need a good va**na
-if you experience pain or discomfort during s*x that is not normal and you should seek medical treatment
-most women don’t need testosterone but need to understand how desire works

Useful resources:

TED TALK
Karen Gurney
-The surprising truth about desire and how to future proof your s*x life
-the truth about faking or***ms

Dipsea app
Is an app for audio erotica
Useful to test your response to triggers

At last BMS meeting we had a wonderful lecture from Dr Karen Gurney on s*x and libido.
Many women report low libido as a common symptom but it is very important to understand how desire works if you want to improve your s*x life. IF you expect an easy fix you are going to be disappointed.
I will share a summary of the talk and add resources at the end.
It is a bit long wo I will divide it.

WHAT IS LOW DESIRE OR LOW LIBIDO?
S*x is not just a biological event depending only on hormones.
There is a misconception that low desire happens because of menopause and that all women will need testosterone supplementation to fix it.
The reality is far more complicated than that.

Reporting low desire is very common in women at different ages.
Most likely the reality is not that the desire is low but that the expectations of what desire should be are incorrect.
Desire is not an internal drive (like hunger) but it depends on external factors.
Unlike hunger the less s*x we have the less s*x we want to have.
There is no “normal” level of desire so we perceive as abnormal might in fact be completely normal.

Not feeling like having s*x out of the blue is very common and normal.
The most likely reason for this is being in a long term relationship and we do not emphasize enough how normal this is.
We get our ideas of what s*x should be like from television and medias and we think that if we do not feel like what we see there must be something wrong with us.
Most women think that desire should come by itself if we love our partner. They expect it to magically happen. This concept is incorrect because that is not how our bodies work.