The Counterfeit Stones

🎸 𝗧𝗨𝗡𝗕𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗚𝗘 𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗦 — 𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗬𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗗𝗔𝗬’𝗦 𝗟𝗢𝗖𝗔𝗟 𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦, 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗜𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗗𝗘𝗖𝗜𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡 🎸

📅 𝗧𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝟮𝟭𝘀𝘁 𝗠𝗔𝗬

Tunbridge Wells has voted.
The ballots are counted.
And somehow, despite all warnings, The Counterfeit Stones are STILL coming to 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗹𝘆 𝗛𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗲.

While councillors argue about parking permits and bin collections, we’ll be dealing with a far greater local issue:
grown adults attempting Mick Jagger impressions after two glasses of Sauvignon Blanc.

Expect:
🎤 absolutely unnecessary levels of swagger
🎸 guitars with questionable legal histories
🕺 dance moves that should probably require planning permission

No policies.
No public consultation.
No dignity whatsoever.

Just wall-to-wall Stones chaos performed by a band brave enough to ask:
“What if we made Tunbridge Wells slightly less emotionally reserved for one night only?”

📅 𝗧𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝟮𝟭𝘀𝘁 𝗠𝗔𝗬
📍 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗹𝘆 𝗛𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗲, 𝗧𝘂𝗻𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗪𝗲𝗹𝗹𝘀
🎟️ 𝗧𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝘁𝘀: https://www.assemblyhalltheatre.co.uk/whats-on/the-counterfeit-stones.html

Warning: may result in air guitar, noise complaints, and at least one resident writing a strongly worded Facebook comment beginning with “THIS USED TO BE A QUIET TOWN.”

🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨

With today’s headlines full of job cuts and uncertainty, we’re delighted to announce 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐢𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲… for dancing shoes, bar staff, and anyone who can still shout “Encore!” after midnight.

𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 we’re waiting for our fans at Eclectic Live Music, where 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐃𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫, 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐟 𝐑𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐝 and the gang will deliver a full evening of fraudulent rock ’n’ roll, suspicious swagger, and rhythms so hot they should need a licence.

🎟️ Tomorrow’s gig: https://eclecticlivemusic.littleboxoffice.com/events/139300

And if you somehow survive that, the mayhem continues next week when we hit 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧, 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐨𝐧. More riffs, more hips, more nonsense.

🎟️ Wolverhampton tickets: https://www.gigantic.com/the-counterfeit-stones-tickets/wolverhampton-the-robin/2026-04-25-19-30

Don’t miss the only band where identity fraud sounds this good.

🚨 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐒 🚨

After last night’s… completely normal global announcements (nothing to see here, all totally sensible, definitely not chaotic at all), experts are struggling to tell the difference between reality and an April Fools joke.

Which raises an important question:

👉 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐢𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫?

Sadly… no.
We’re still going.
No executive order can stop us.

While the world tries to work out what on earth is happening, we’ll be doing what we do best — turning up, making noise, and delivering a version of rock ’n’ roll that is… legally distinct.

This April, questionable decisions will be made at:

📍 18/04 – Godalming, Borough Hall
📍 25/04 – Bilston (The Robin 2)
📍 30/04 – Shrewsbury, Severn Theatre

It’s loud, it’s loose, and it’s about as authentic as the news cycle right now.

Tickets are available, for now…
👉 https://www.thecounterfeitstones.com/gigs/

Get yours before someone signs something and bans us.

Good news — we’re hitting the road again! If you missed us (or just can’t get enough), here’s where you can catch the full Counterfeit Stones experience live:

https://www.thecounterfeitstones.com/gigs/

✨ Upcoming dates where you can still snag tickets:
🎶 18 Apr — Borough Hall, Godalming
🎶 25 Apr — The Robin 2, Bilston
🎶 30 Apr — The Severn Theatre, Shrewsbury
🎶 … and loads more all the way through 2026!

Come sing badly, dance like nobody’s watching, and witness the kind of mayhem that should probably be illegal. We’ll see you at a venue near you — don’t make us rock without you. 😉

❤️ 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗬 𝗩𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗘’𝗦 𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗘𝗜𝗧 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗦 ❤️

When you told your other half you’d booked a romantic night in a luxury hotel…
…but forgot to mention it’s because you’re on tour again.

Nick Dagger setting the mood with:
🛏️ Crushed velvet headboard
🍾 Complimentary beverages (purely medicinal)
🧳 A suitcase that’s seen more action than Cupid’s arrow

Nothing says romance like whispering, “I can’t get no… room service satisfaction.”

If your Valentine deserves more than petrol station roses and a half-eaten Toblerone, bring them to the real love affair — a night with 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗶𝘁 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀. We promise hips will swivel, lips will pout, and nobody will be left (emotionally) stranded.

💋 See where we’re spreading the love next:
👉 https://www.thecounterfeitstones.com/