Lilleywhite Funeral Service

In memory of Simon Lilleywhite 1966-2018 🪶

My dad, Simon Derenzy Lilleywhite, passed away 8 years ago today, on a sunny day in June 2018. He was surrounded by the people he loved most in the world, my mum, the love of his life, my brother and myself.

I remember his beautiful dark hair which stayed with him throughout all the brutal rounds of chemotherapy and a smile that could light up any room. He loved the water, and we spent many glorious holidays together in Mallorca. That was where he was his happiest.

Losing someone who was so valued by so many people has been so hard. Grief has changed me to my core, and I barely recognise the person I was before my dad passed away.

The past 8 years have been the hardest I have ever faced, so many things have happened, for better and worse, and it has been so hard to face them without my dad.

I really wish I could say that time eases the pain, but if I am being honest it doesn’t. And as hard as that may be, I do consider myself so blessed to have had the opportunity to have my dad for 24 years.

Following in my dad’s footsteps is something that has given me purpose and meaning after he died. I have run the business for 8 years, and I always will be incredibly proud of our valued presence in the local community. Something which had endured for 129 years, something so very valuable to so many people.

Following my father’s passing I truly understand the importance of funeral directors and the astounding work we do. It is an honour and a privilege to continue the legacy of my father and my grandfathers before him. To work in a space where he loved and spent so much time gives me comfort. And through helping families through their darkest moments, I feel so close to him knowing the countless hours where he did the same.

Lilleywhites is a special place, one where I feel safe and secure at work following in the footsteps of those before me, and what an honour that is. So this is for you daddy, you wouldn’t recognise me now, but I know you would be so incredibly proud of your little girl.

For everyone who has lost a parent 🤍

By Amy Lilleywhite

Losing someone you love makes you appreciate the small things and see the world in a new way. It can be easy to feel pain and fall into the depths of despair, I know, because I have been there. Or you can try to turn your face to the sun and see the beauty in the small things. The way the light shimmers through the leaves in the trees. The sound of waves crashing on the sand. Waking up to face licks from my puppy everyday. The small things always mattered, grief just makes you appreciate them more. Picture of my emotional support bundle of floof, Clio. With love, Amy Lilleywhite.

Mental Health Awareness Week 7/7

After losing my dad myself and my mum started collecting special 50 pence coins. Particularly the ones from the Beatrice Potter collection. My mum and dad used to read me the stories before bed, and they were always full of joy and beautiful characters.

Through talking to people about loss, I started looking for signs. Like this little feather I woke up to this morning, or when a robin appears in a hedgerow.

Every time I see something special, that just feels right, I always say “hi daddy” and then I talk to him about what I’ve been up to recently. It’s a lovely way of making him feel close to me, and I know, that wherever he is now he is listening too.

All my love, Amy Lilleywhite

Mental Health Awareness Week 4/7

6 months after my dad passed away the depth of my grief really set in. It suddenly hit me, and my mental health plummeted into darkness. Reading has always been a joy of mine, and I turned to the comfort of words on a page to help me explore the emotions I felt at the time.

There is a wealth of information and insight contained in so many books. Through reading, it helped me validate my own feelings whilst also learning to reframe my thoughts and emotions. It also gave me perspective on loss, as it can feel all-consuming and it is easy to lose yourself in the waves of grief. C.S. Lewis wrote "We read to know we are not alone."

Below is a list of books, and audio books that helped me enormously:

"Grief Works" by Julia Samuel.
This was the first book I read on my grief journey, it is written by a psychiatrist and recounts various different stories and perspectives of former clients. Each chapter focuses on a different kind of loss, and it really helped me to frame my emotions into a different way and feel less alone.

"The Midnight Library" by Matt Haig.
I listened to the audiobook version, and it is beautifully narrated too. Listening to audiobooks helps calm my busy mind, it is about about a woman named Nora Seed, who after reaching a breaking point in her life, finds herself in a mystical library that allows her to explore the infinite versions of her life and discover what truly makes it worth living.

"The Humans" by Matt Haig.
A funny and profound science fiction novel about an unnamed alien who takes over the body of a Cambridge mathematician, Andrew Martin, to destroy evidence of a mathematical discovery. Initially disgusted by humanity, the alien slowly falls in love with human life, its imperfections, and its capacity for emotion. Towards the end of the book there is a list of sorts of all the wonderful things that we can enjoy in this world, which was the starting point for my love of classical music. Through the introduction to "Clare de Lune".

"Windswept and Interesting" by Billy Connolly.
Now, I know his humour is not for everyone, but I love him. I listened to the audiobook version of this, and it really opened my mind and heart, as I did not realise how colourful, and heartbreaking, his life had been. This book brought so much joy into my heart, and despite his exceptionally hard start in life, it reminded me that we can still have a wonderful life, regardless of what has happened to you.

Do you have any recommendations of books? If so I would love for you to share them , please let me know in the comments.

All my love, Amy Lilleywhite

Doodle of some cherry blossom by me.