Birth and Beyond

Motherhood doesn’t always feel the way we expect it to.

Sometimes we can feel trapped.

And that can be really confusing and awful and difficult to explain. Because we’re not meant to feel like that…

But understanding why that is can help things shift.

If you’d like to know more, read my post. The link is in my bio.

Looking before you leap.

So I’ve got a really s**t henna tattoo. It’s genuinely horrible! Thank goodness it’s not permanent.

But it got me thinking about my process, and why I have a s**t tattoo.

My initial thoughts:

That I find it hard to think fast when I’m overwhelmed (and believe me, that woman knew how to push!). That I need space to think about things.

That I tend to ignore my concerns by thinking that I’ll make it ok if the worst happens. And to be fair, in this case I will, I can handle a bit of embarrassment and disappointment! But it doesn’t always work like that. Sometimes it’s bloody painful.

Likewise, I find it easier to leap before I look. Sometimes that pays off. Sometimes, it doesn’t.

The thing is, I know these things about myself and I will probably still act in ways I would like not to at times. Because sometimes, wonderful things happen when I don’t give my concerns too much airtime, when I’m impulsive and trust my gut. The rough and the smooth.

And why am I saying this? Because often there is a sense that we must BE BETTER, especially when we have a baby and everyone else seems to be nailing it. But the truth is that you can only do you.

Yes sure, have a bit of awareness, it can be useful, but demonising the parts of yourself that don’t fit the idea of how you ‘should’ be means you might also be missing out. These parts might also be brilliant in different situations.

If you’re giving yourself a hard time as a mum, and want space to think about why that might be, therapy can be so helpful. I currently don’t have space for new clients, but I can suggest some brilliant people, depending on what you’re looking for: and being a couple of them.