Optimum Doula

It's Pride Month, so I'm writing this post remind everyone that Optimum Doula is fully inclusive of those belonging to the LGBTQ+ community, not just this month, but every month of the year.

Although most of the new and expectant parents I work with are cisgender, and in a heterosexual relationship, there are plenty who are not.

My services are open to all, regardless of sexuality or gender identity, and I aim for my services to be obviously and visibly inclusive. And it feel especially important this year, with the rise in anti-trans content I am seeing on social media :-(

I've always been aware that not all parents are heterosexual and have knowingly supported quite a few le***an (or possibly bisexual/pansexual) women and couples. And given that I do not always meet partners, and sexuality rarely comes up as a topic of conversation when discussing nursing bras or TENS machines, it seems quite likely I've unknowingly supported several more. I have also never assumed any new or expectant parent I have contact with is married or has a partner, or that their partner is of the opposite gender.

I am fully aware that there are people who do not identify as either ‘women’ or as ‘mums’, and/or do not use female pronouns, giving birth and accessing perinatal services. And that these perinatal services sometimes fall short of providing for their needs, in an inclusive and respectful way.

As well as transgender men, who generally use male gendered language, there are people who identify as non-binary for whom neither female nor male gendered language may not appropriate. Some people, who were born intersex, may also feel that female gendered language is not right for them.

There are pregnant women, who although they are happy with the word ‘woman’ and with female pronouns, are acting as surrogates and therefore do not identify as ‘mum’. This is especially likely if the baby they are pregnant with was conceived using an egg that was not their own. Surrogates are not exclusively used by the LGBTQ+ community, so not always using the word 'mum' when referring to pregnant people is something that impacts more people than just those who do not identify as female.

To try and ensure all pregnant people and new parents, whether they are heterosexual, gay, bi or pansexual, cis, transgender, non-binary, genderfluid or intersex (as well as those who are surrogates) feel that they are fully accepted and respected when using any of my services, I try to use gender neutral and/or gender diverse language and images. This is not to say that I do not use the words ‘woman’ or ‘mum’, or use ‘she’ and ‘her’ when talking to or about those individuals (or groups) who I know are happy with this. I use female gendered terms when it is appropriate, just as I use alternatives when that is more appropriate.

The image I have chosen to illustrate this post is of the pin badge I wear on my Breastfeeding Counsellor lanyard.

Just given feeding support to a woman, whose mum I supported with feeding 13 years ago!

The feeding support I provided 13 years ago was when the woman's mum was feeding the woman's younger brother.