Hante.

Hey,
It’s been a minute… And I think it’s time to give you some updates!
First of all (because my post is gonna be long and I know lots of people won’t read till the end), there will be a 50% discount on all my Bandcamp during June, starting today!
And well… so much happened those last months! To summarize, I moved closer to nature (what a life changer). I got a failed surgery (back to square one after a painful recovery). I got married (😱😁).
I started trying different alternative medicines to ease the tinnitus and hyperacusis but didn’t find anything that works yet.
My musician life seems so far away now and I admit that it’s not easy for me to go on Instagram and watch posts and videos that look so familiar but also from another reality. It’s bittersweet and I’m sorry that I’m not answering the messages anymore but I need to protect myself to be able to move on.
And as surprising as it sounds, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. It’s a tough journey but it is so worth it. I’m exploring new paths I never imagined I would love and I’m so excited about the future 😊
I’m not closing the music door (yet) as it still is a very important part of my life, helping me to focus on something else than the violent sounds in my head. I still love to compose deep dark melodies on my piano and still feel the beauty and the emotions in music even if I’ll be grieving the loss of stereo forever 😅
I wish you to find unexpected things that will bring joy in your life and to focus on what makes you feel happy instead of what brings you down. You’re enough 💪❤️

This week I will be back on stage with , first show since what happened to me in April. And I think it is time to give you some news.
First of all, let me be clearer on my situation, because people have been asking: I didn’t loose some of my left hearing, I lost all of it. Also I don’t have some weakness in my left inner ear, the organ doesn’t respond anymore and it will f**k my balance and my head for life.
That said 😅, let’s talk about the new challenges I will be facing on stage. I’m not gonna lie, rehearsals have been harsh.
First of all, because I’m half deaf and that I need to protect my last ear, the music I hear on stage is like it is from another room or like I am under water. The other issue is that I’m simply not able to move like I used to, with my hair and everything, and trying to dance a bit without wanting to throw up is now a new battle.
So why am I putting myself in this very uncomfortable position you would ask? 😅 First of all, I took some engagements a few months ago and to be honest, I never thought I would be in this state in September. I am still processing my new situation and realizing it will take a lot of times. Now it’s just too late, I don’t want to put people in a bad situation… Because we also simply can’t afford to loose more money than we already did. As independent artists, we were already trying to survive since 2020. And having to cancel many gigs the last months has put us in a difficult situation. We have an album coming out in November and we need to promote it on stage, it’s as simple as that. The timing is bad, I surely needed more time. But we don’t have this time, so I will stay as strong as I can be and will just do it. Also, I’m really hoping that week after week, it will become easier! Let’s see.

So please don’t be mad if I’m not super chatty after the shows, I will be exhausted + I may not hear you properly 😔
Thanks for your continuous support and your understanding 🤍