Nick Cocozza

I moved to Berlin when I was 24.

It doesn’t feel that long ago, but I’m 40 now and a lot’s changed. Not just the city, but the version of me living in it.

A lot of life just seems to happen while you’re busy figuring things out. Through experiences, mistakes, people, loss, growth, and all the other stuff that happens in between.

I don’t think any of us ever really “figure things out”. We’re all just learning on the job and understanding ourselves a little better over time.

Here’s a few things I’ve learned along the way.

I’ve lived in a lot of different parts of Berlin over the years, and at least 4 of these U-Bahn stops used to be my local ones. They’re tied to our everyday routines, going out, coming home after a messy night out, heading to work on a Monday morning.

As part of this Berlin project I’m building, I’m not just drawn to the weird and obscure parts is the city, but also places like these everyday U-Bahn stations. The everyday stuff we pass and move through without even thinking, which we’re all connected by, whether we realise it or not.

The older I get, the stranger time feels.

When I first came to Berlin, it felt like time didn’t really exist. Probably because I was in my twenties and everything was chaotic and exciting.

But the older I get, the more I realise how fast it actually goes.

Even this past year, after having a baby, which I totally didn’t expect.

I find it interesting how many different versions of yourself can exist in one place.

A lot of people pass through Berlin without ever really settling down.

And now I’m here, getting older in it.

Becoming a version of myself
I never really associated with this city.

And in a strange way,
it just feels right.

I remember years ago sitting down to draw with my little niece. Her page was just blank and I asked why.

She said, “I’m afraid I’ll mess it up.”

I told her that’s the whole point…
because otherwise you’re just left with a blank page.

We made a proper mess and it ended up funny and actually pretty cool in the end.

I think a lot of us carry that same fear into adulthood. We don’t try because we’re scared of failing.

I think the real failure is being too scared to even try something in the first place…

With it being Easter, I’ve been thinking about what that means to people, and the stories that have been passed on.

I’m not a religious person, but I do like the idea of regeneration, the thought that we have the power to kill and resurrect different parts of ourselves. Whether those are good or bad, it’s interesting to think about how we’re constantly reinventing who we are. Breaking things down and rebuilding, and becoming new versions of ourselves.

Berlin feels like a city that allows you to do that.
A place where you can start again and figure yourself out.

Maybe that’s its own kind of resurrection.