Coaching with Iemke

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com I must've listened to a podcast or something about this, but in this course, I realized that I'm already taking notes like this. Use the left side of the page to record what is being said (note taking). Not verbatim, but the ideas and thoughts that your are taking from the lesson. On the right of the page you are creating (...

https://iemkepostma.wordpress.com/2025/06/27/the-best-way-to-take-notes/

The Best Way to Take Notes Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com I must’ve listened to a podcast or something about this, but in this course, I realized that I’m already taking notes like this. Use the left side of the …

I'm taking a Jim Kwik course, and I figured I'd practice what I'm learning by teaching it here. The FAST method breaks down like this: Forget Active State Teach Forget What you know about the subject Ironically, the key to learning better starts with "forgetting"... forgetting what you know about a subject, and keeping an open mind so you can actually learn something....

The FAST Method for Learning I’m taking a Jim Kwik course, and I figured I’d practice what I’m learning by teaching it here. The FAST method breaks down like this: Forget Active State Teach Forget What you kn…

If you want to get someone to do something you want, speak in terms of their interest.

Getting my son to do anything often involves some kind of negotiation. If I want him to do something, I leverage his interests against him.

His interests are:
- TV time
- Video games
- Money
- Candy
..just to name a few.

To get him to eat breakfast, I don’t say:
“Hey buddy, it’s time to wake up and eat breakfast or you’re going to be late for school.”

It’s questionable whether or not he cares about getting to school on time. That’s more likely my interest than his.

Instead, what I say is:
“Hey buddy, if you want to watch TV, it’s best to wake up and eat breakfast or you’re going to run out of time.”

It’s the classic carrot of the “carrot and stick” method, although using “carrots” as a motivator is much better for long term trust and building the relationship.

Figure out the other side’s carrot. You’ll get a lot further.

Having a purpose before you involve other people into your life is going to allow you to stand on your own feet without having to rely on others for direction and meaning.

This will create much more synergistic relationships than if you depend on your partner/children/parents/friends etc. to give you that meaning.

Sacrificing your own purpose for the sake of others will eventually come back to kick you. It might cause resentment for those around you, blaming them for your situation, painting you as the victim in all of this when in fact it is self instigated. It’s the opposite of what you intended.

The point is: you need to figure out yourself first. That doesn’t mean you should cut ties with relationships you have, to go sit in a cave and meditate (although if you do, let me know about it). It can be a parallel process where you follow your inner journey at the same time that you are helping others with theirs, and being helped by others in yours.

We live in an interdependent reality. Humans are social beings and are inclined to seek out others to get their needs met. To figure out what exactly your needs are, and to have that be independent of any relationship (although as mentioned, to be able to be supported by it) is going to make you much more resilient and a more effective communicator because you know what you stand for and you know what you want.

Let me know your thoughts!