Alyssa Messina
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I’ve been a little hesitant sharing this but I know my dad would have wanted me too… so here it goes.
If you know anything about loosing a parent (and I hope you don’t) everything just feels especially heavy without them. Nothing makes sense and whatever direction you were planning on going in suddenly comes to a tragic halt. Everything falls; all the pieces you were building, all the plans you were making, everything that has made you, has suddenly lost its place and none of the puzzle pieces seem to fit together like they used too. It’s more than just heartbreak.
In this moment, for the first time in my life without my dad was beyond agonizing. I felt terrified, vulnerable and extremely exposed. I had so much anxiety a week before and the thought of even trying to sing again just killed me. For the first time, I heard and felt each word I sang and with that I just carried so much emotion for my dad. Everything now has a deeper meaning and one I wish I didn’t have to feel so soon…
Regardless of how I felt, I wanted to fight to be able to stand on that stage again for him. The future holds so much uncertainty as I try to navigate this new stage of my life without him and all I know is that I can’t put the puzzle pieces back as I used too.
So yes it’s been quite quiet over here because I still don’t know where to begin. Although, I have to keep reminding myself that emotion is not weakness. It’s a sign of rebuilding and picking up the pieces to start again or to build something entirely new. And that’s okay.
I continue to think of you every second of everyday and will especially find you again on that stage dad ❤️🦋
11/14/2025
Dear Dad 🪽❤️
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you. Every second of everyday and with every step I take, I think of you. It’s been a long yet short two months without you; time has been weird since you passed as I try to think of the joy and memories you left behind.
🦋
When I look back at these photos, I’m reminded of how excited you were about our album release show and how you brought as many people as you could to come out to see our show that night. You were such a proud Dad and you were never afraid to show it. You NEVER missed a show; even in the snow storms you were there loud and present; simply a father that was so proud of his daughter.
🦋
Lately, I’ve been having a hard time knowing that you won’t ever be there physically again. It really does break me to the core and it’s a pain that I’d never wish on anyone. But I guess it’s a testament to how BIG your love was ❤️
🦋
I know I’m already grown up, but Dad, I want to be just like you when I’m older. A selfless love; one that never judges a book by its cover and one that fights and doesn’t back down when things need to be said or get done.
🦋
One day I know I WILL be strong enough to step on that stage again because I AM my father’s daughter and I always will be. But for now, I will keep quiet and continue to write and work on new songs for you Dad.
🦋
As I move forward I will continue to do the things that have made you proud and with that I will challenge myself each day. For you.
Love you forever and always Dad. Love your, always will be, Baby Girl ❤️
08/20/2025
Who doesn’t like a cup of ☕️?
Coffee has been getting some great traction lately! ❤️ I had so much fun writing this song especially the playful lyrics with all the underlining tones. Just like a cup of coffee… you know? 😉
Photos of me by .friesen 📸
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