Enlightenment In The City Enterprises

“I can do nothing for you but work on myself...you can do nothing for me but work on yourself!”

Ram Dass

Secret to a wonderful relationship? Growth and fun. People get excited by other's outside of the marriage, because they think someone else will offer something their partner won't. While issues aren't immediately seen, good looks and promises of ease are. Temptation can arise if one doesn't offer growth and fun.

Everyone needs work to make the relationship great. They also need to be on the receiving end of the same energy. If a partner thinks they'd honestly have a better life with someone else, it makes sense they'd have to evaluate the relationship they're currently in. When you find a partner you can create and support growth and fun with, you have a pretty rock solid relationship. When factors are missing, people become tempted by other's outside the relationship, since everybody wants to live their potential. We all want someone we can live our utmost with. The most successful relationships support growth and enjoyment and make it a joy to be in, for years to come!

Highly Sensitive: Highly Aware or "Too Sensitive"?

Over the years, I've met a lot of people who hate the label of "sensitive". It was as though awareness of patterns, the refusal to succumb to negative situations, and the desire to be away from abuse before anyone else could see, were somehow bad and "wrong". A feisty nature, rebelliousness against pain and other negative patterns we can see coming in, along with a very strong drive at a young age to, "do the right thing", may often be shut down and given the shaming name of "too sensitive". It's interesting how so many grew up thinking a strong desire to do what is right, along with the refusal to do bad, somehow ends up with people dubbed negatively as "too much" of anything. "Too picky", "too sensitive", "snobbish" and the derogatory list goes on of what sensitives are called when they refuse to give in. Yet when "highly sensitive" is done right we can very often make highly beneficial decisions. Even before others can see That is definitely one piece of beauty in the gift.

A lot of highly sensitive people have a very strong sense of justice, of unfairness, of people's patterns and what is right or wrong. To see and feel such things, is a sign of intuition. The ability to see and feel beyond what others may notice, is good. For sensitives, this may just happen to pop up in the arena of knowing more about emotional behavior. This same ability to see patterns and know outcomes is applauded and has its praises sung, when done in a business format or creative endeavor. Someone who easily sees, feels and understands business patterns, who learns and applies what they know, could easily be defined as, "highly sensitive", as they are both formats in life of seeing and feeling before others.. Interestingly enough this same gift that of intuition (when labelled positively), or "highly sensitive", or "too sensitive" (when used negatively) can easily have one labelled as a "business genius". If the gift is large enough and put to enough usage, one can even become a millionaire or a billionaire. This can often be the result of one who has an "ability to see" and "feel" (aka, when one has a "gut feeling") at a higher level. We create profound results. One with these gifts in the field of music, is one who makes the violin sing and is highly lauded as talented. Being able to see and feel deeper is definitely a gift. When used appropriately along with additional learning, this ability is easily a part of gaining our inherent wisdom.

Clearly, there's a huge difference between being highly aware (aka "highly sensitive") and "too sensitive", and when the gift is mixed up with an over reaction, that is when the sensitives can feel bashed with shameful naming as a result. "Too sensitive" is actually an over-sensitivity to a situation, and in a lot of cases, an over reaction to what is the reality of the happening at hand. If a highly aware (aka "highly sensitive") person sees and feels things deeper or sooner, that is a "highly sensitive" pattern and gift. Yet if you put this awareness in front of somebody who still has yet to see, understand, or one who simply fails at wanting to deal with the subject at hand, this is when the mislabeling of "too sensitive" can happen. You see, there is a very huge difference between being highly sensitive and "too sensitive", and it's a lot easier for people to understand the gift, when we learn what the definitions actually are, and separate and apply them to the person and/or situation appropriately. Yes, highly sensitive people can have moments of being "too sensitive", aka they can have an over reaction to the situation at hand. People with a "regular level of sensitivity" can often have these same moments too.

Being highly aware is where one can see the patterns of what is in place, and understand the impact (beneficial and/or negative) of what has a high likelihood of happening at a result. When we are highly aware or highly specialized in an area, we can see when person A does B and C, what will then happen to either A, B or C as a result. When we care and can see the result, a lot of sensitives may be very joyful for self and/or others, when we see happiness coming as a result of beneficial impact in the new situation. A person who uses "high sensitivity" to be happy for others is often viewed as sweet and kind. It's always great when someone is willing to be happy for you, while you experience your happiness. When we are looking for a Soul Mate, we often desire to have a sensitive's awareness of what is good for us along with their joy, directed at us. It feels great to have others see us, who want to celebrate what we are doing.

It may also be normal to be upset when we see harm and neglect that will come, as a result of the action or inaction of people around us. This upset can often be deemed "too sensitive", both if one actually does consistently have over reactions, or even if one is healthy, yet is around those who fail to want to deal with life's current circumstances. If one is upset about things that others do not see, if the awareness is not supported, or when the one who is highly aware or "sensitive" is operating from a place of fear, of non-reality, or one's own pain patterns, these aspects of why we operate as we do can often be roped into the same "too sensitive" arena, even though they are separate. This mix up of what "highly sensitive" actually is, is where being "highly sensitive" can get a bad rap. It's where the highly negative label of "too sensitive" sometimes comes from when we were young. Additionally, the label sometimes happened regardless of whether it was right or wrong. The issue with any ability or action is it can be both used healthily and servingly, or be used to create harm. You can put the exact same gift in a very healthy format, in front of someone extraordinarily emotionally unhealthy, and they can have a negative reaction to the healthy state and ability. Bottom line, what is deemed a "serving behavior" often depends on the emotional health of the one using it, and it's interpretation of being seen as "healthy and beneficial", is also vulnerable to a "serving or unserving" label, that is dependent on the emotional health of the one doing the interpreting.

If you grow up in an unhealthy environment as a sensitive, it can often feel nightmarish, as you feel things more, are aware of the impact of behaviors more than those around you. It's hard for anyone to live in a toxic environment where you see people hurting self or others, due to actions that would be better off changed. It's even harder when you see and feel the impact more. Add in that in an unhealthy environment people tend to have less idea of how to create health, as well as have less support to correct ill behaviors, and you can end up with a sensitive who feels very overloaded in life by negativity. Knowing how to find help, where to look for solutions, is a skill set that people who thrive in life have. The more toxic the environment, the less the skill set the people in it have, to find and practice the answers one needs on how to create change. There also tends to be less support for healthy behaviors, to allow each person to improve and thrive. Highly sensitive people often feel the need quite strongly, that something needs to change and will know what needs to be fixed, yet still need help in learning how to implement what they want. Knowing change needs to come while feeling a lack of support and answers, can easily be hard for anyone in life to deal with. It can easily create more havoc for sensitives who are missing the support system and knowledge they need. Their upset at this lack of being able to fix what needs fixing when nobody else sees, understands or is willing to do anything about it, can unfortunately bring up the pattern of upset again, that makes it look as one is "too sensitive". Even though a sensitive, may simply see a pattern, before anybody else does.

It can be challenging for anyone with a large gift, to know how to use it well. Any gift can be used to either bring light or to really throw a hailstorm in life. Blaming the gift (of being highly sensitive), or the person who holds the gift (the sensitive person), as the complete and absolute issue and pinning it as a negative, is both short sighted and completely unrealistic. It's like taking two drivers with the same, large, shiny, high-powered, heavy duty off-road vehicle, and one driver uses it to go into rocky terrain to save people and haul them out of difficult terrain; the other uses it to tear up a neighbor's lawn in revenge for an imagined slight. The vehicle is the gift, is a thing of beauty in it's own right. Whoever is driving it, how they are driving it and their reasons for doing what they are, will all contribute to the end result either being heroic and beautiful or harmful and destructive. Being derogatory towards either the vehicle or the beneficial driver due to the actions of the unhealthy driver and how they drive is sabotaging and may even be mean spirited, or derogatory. At times, the one aiming upset at the healthy driver, is the unhealthily spouting negative actions and points of view. To have reality on the gift, we have to be in reality of the uses and excuses, that may also come with the territory. Being highly sensitive is far from a defense for acting out, up, or over reacting. It may be, however, a calling for improvement, one in which we are held to a higher ideal, simply because we can feel the need for it, and have a very hard time living with anything less. Once we get clear on the differences between highly sensitive and "too sensitive", and get clear on healthy uses vs. making excuses for behaviors that need to change, then we can put our great gift to better use, and use it to serve the world.