Calm Again Psychotherapy

Solar Eclipse and the Shadow
Today, in light of the upcoming solar eclipse, we recommend a Jungian shadow work exercise.
The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung was the first to identify the "shadow" as one of our many archetypes. Archetypes are patterns of perception of the world. The shadow archetype differs from the others in that it determines how we see ourselves. According to Jung, everyone has a shadow self, regardless of their accomplishments, appearances, or talents. Everyone is different. The following exercise will help us discover what ours looks like:
Recall the feeling of standing in front of people (or an audience) who make you feel insecure or embarrassed. Focus on this feeling and the image it creates in you. Based on these feelings, imagine a face and a body. You can even draw them.
There's no wrong way to do this, and you can get very surprising images that are not at all typical of the way the world sees you. For example, a CEO might be a lonely, crying little girl. Let's remember that image so that you can work with it in the future.
We perceive our shadow as something to be ashamed of and often do our best to hide it from others. However, this often does not have the desired effect, as it can make us feel that we cannot be our true selves, that we must constantly hide who and what we are, and that we are afraid of being found out. Many of us begin to seek approval from the outside, which will never be enough and will never replace it if we cannot accept ourselves from the inside.
We can use the following exercise developed by American psychiatrist Phil Stutz as a modern version of Jungian shadow work. He calls it the Inner Authority Exercise.
Imagine yourself standing in front of an audience. Imagine your shadow standing beside you. Then, forget the audience and focus only on your shadow and the unbreakable bond between the two of you. Take your shadow's hand, turn to face the audience together, and shout: LISTEN TO US!
This exercise clears the space for you to express yourself freely. This power, with persistent practice, can lead to the development of inner authority.
By Orsolya Kis

Mary Oliver's poem beautifully captures the essence of what psychologists call "the wisdom of trauma. In therapy, our goal is often to unlock this "box of darkness" and transform it into a source of empowerment. It is important to clarify that this process does not involve justifying the trauma. Just as forgiveness does not mean justifying what was done to us. Instead, it means that we let go of the other person's throat and begin to focus on ourselves, our inner journey, and our healing.
By Orsolya Kis

Today, we share a painfully honest but beautifully profound poem about a mother-daughter relationship in old age. Reading and writing poetry can be therapeutic - especially when you are going through a difficult time in your life.

Katalin Mezey: Like rusty knives

From false teeth, from glasses
some old clothes
I'll cobble together
my mother every morning.
Between the legs of a skeleton
I place a diaper,
a pair of tights, a pair of stockings;
I put on her slippers,
and then, holding hands
we shuffle into the living room.
She, the champion of independence,
who never needed anyone,
and me, the champion of freedom,
who, as a teenager, ran away from her–
I didn't want to live in her austerity.
Now, people who knew us before might be surprised.
Just like sharpening rusty knives,
God is sharpening us with one another.

(translated by Orsolya Kis)

Mezey, Katalin. “Akar a rozsdas keseket”. Eloretolt Helyorseg, August 25 th 2018.