Sheldon Walker, Psychologist

Small Gestures Can Be Powerful

In a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships by S. Heshmati and Z. Oravec, it was found that people feel loved in the following four scenarios:

* when someone shows compassion toward them in difficult times
* when a child snuggles up to them
* When their pets are happy to see them
* when someone tells them “I love you“

None of these behaviours need necessarily be associated with romantic partners; people can feel loved in a wide range of setting.

Here are a few suggestions adapted from John Gottman for couples where one member travels a lot:
If you have a spouse/partner who travels for work:

1. While your spouse/partner is away, make a point to to talk to each other EVERY DAY! Busy or in the mood, doesn’t matter.
2. Separate update conversations (the kids, the bills, the household maintenance) from connection conversations (how’s it going, how are you feeling, I miss you!).
3. Schedule a date time to eat a meal together over FaceTime or using other connecting technologies.
4. Before the traveling partner departs, hide love or humorous notes in his/ her suitcase.