We Thrive

Contemplative thought for today

My youngest two are being inundated with questions on what they are going to do as they step into adulthood .
And I have fallen into the trap of answering in a way of different things they're thinking about .
I find myself doing the same for myself when people ask me about me .
I answer that I am a teacher or a healer or a mother or a writer .
Those are rolls I play, but they are not who I am at my core .
They are the result of who I am .
Who I am is a person who wants to make a difference in the world and who loves in a big way. Who I am as someone who is reflective and wants to lead and inspire who I am as a person who loves to laugh and loves to dream and loves to Have deep important conversations.
Because of who I am, those paths of mother and teacher, and Healer and writer have been passed that express who I am
But they are not who my soul is.
If I quit teaching and healing and writing, and my kids moved to the other end of the world and never spoke to me again
I would obviously be heartbroken and a void would need to be filled
But I am sure that eventually I would find a new way to express who I am.

So when people ask about my kids and what they are doing in their lives, I am going to try to remember that they are not their jobs and their education
And Be courageous enough to say who they are -
They are smart and funny, and know who they want to be around and when. They have beautiful hearts, and our compassionate and resilient. They pull together for each other and for me.
They have many many talents . They are extremely lovable, not just to me but to many.
How can I define these magnificent human beings to a job or an education educational path.

They all will make an important contribution to the world
In incredibly different ways .
By being
And hopefully that will lead to their aligned careers
But if not , the way they are will make a ripple effect of good and joy to others around them.
When they were born, I knew the gift that they brought to my world, and it wasn't a career path down the road .

Sachin brought an incredible love that I had never felt before
Zane brought pure joy
Lili brought feistiness and sweetness
Ari brought delight and completed our family .

The question is not
What are you going to do?
The question is
who are you going to be?

Love Tonia

Reshared from last year.

The young man was at the end of his rope.
Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. “God, I can’t go on,” he said. “I have too heavy a cross to bear.”
God replied, “My son, if you can’t bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room, then open that other door and pick out any cross that you wish.”
The young man was filled with relief. “Thank you, Lord,” he said.
Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large that the tops were not visible.
Some were so heavy that he could not pick them up. Some were made out of metal, some were so wide he couldn’t see around them. Some were spiky .
He kept walking, not wanting to choose any of those crosses.
Then he spotted a small cross leaning against the far wall.  It was so tiny he could just carry it in his pocket .
“I would like this one please. “
God smiled and replied, “My son, that’s the cross you came in with. “
- source unknown , adapted by me

I was sad this morning. Worried about a lot of things.
Heart heavy.
And then I saw a tiny cross, reflected in my mirror.
It reminded me of this story and that I make my problems and worries so big, but actually, I have the smallest cross “in the room”.
When I remember this, my perspective changes, and I realize how very very very blessed I am .
That God didn’t give me more than I can handle.
And sometimes when my problems are big, he gave me so much heavenly and earthly support to carry my cross.
It’s never been more than I can handle
Because I am still here
On the other side of those problems.
If it was too much, I wouldn’t still be standing.
And I wouldn’t still be able to keep going and dreaming and smiling.
 Thank you God for my tiny
cross
And if there was a room full of blessings,
Thank you for my blessings being one of the most abundant .

Wishing you , my friends, a day where you see how blessed you are !

Love Tonia

Sometimes when we are not feeling good and feel out of sorts, we often go immediately to looking for a reason for it. I don’t feel good so maybe there’s something wrong with me or some thing wrong in my life . We can then start spinning- it must be because my business is not doing good, it must be because I’m stressed about money, it must be because my partner doesn’t love me anymore, it must be because I’m ugly or stupid or alone.
We have a feeling and then try to think of a thought that explains why we are feeling that way.

But why do we not consider that maybe my body might just be dysregulated and need something
I may be hungry
Or dehydrated
Or tired
Or lethargic
Or I may be getting sick
Or my period may be coming
Or I am overheated

Instead of saying, my life is bad
Things suck
Check into whether your body needs something and give it what it needs

Consider that maybe you need a glass of water
Some food
Some yoga
Meditation
A walk
A nap
Quiet time
The fan on
A heating pad
A bath

Sometimes it is easy as that to turn your mood

If you are still feeling angry or sad or overwhelmed after that
That’s when you can bring in
The breathwork
The tapping
The journaling
The moving your emotions through you and feeling them

Sometimes our emotions need processing

And sometimes they are just a signal that our body needs some thing.

Consider which one it might be.

I love you.
Tonia