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Fortaleza, 05 February 2024
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Dear Diary,
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Let us start by stating facts: I am an angel. The sweetest dog that has ever lived. I also have hard proof of that: I do not get into fights with lizards (yeah, it happened again) and put mom in danger like a certain long-legged cousin did. Now that we have that out of the way, I can talk about the “provoking-a-person-armed-with-fire incident”.
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It was not my fault, as usual. It was just a huge misunderstanding. That person was too sensitive and mom got all upset over nothing. I will tell you what happened, step-by-step. We went for our walk yesterday and apart from a couple of dogs that needed some scolding everything was calm. That is until we bumped into this guy playing with fire. Mom said he was a street performer and she seemed to like the whole thing, but I thought the whole situation was really fishy. I mean, I was okay with it when we were away from him, but when we crossed the street and got closer to the guy, I just couldn’t handle it. He was flying and playing with fire. That is not normal! People shouldn’t fly! Okay, fine he wasn’t flying, but it was night and I didn’t see the rope he was walking on, so give me a break. Considering the information I had, I did the only thing I could and should do, which was scream my opinion as loudly as possible. The fishy guy got spooked and nearly fell. He dropped one of the torches on the ground and jumped from the rope. By then, mom, instead of joining me, started saying sorry to the guy and dragging me away. She said it was all fine, that I was just spooked but I wasn’t a danger to him. Crazy woman! Her tolerance for weird is just too high.
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The worse part is that she got angry at me! She told me I shouldn’t provoke people armed with fire and that the guy could have barbecued us both. She loves barbecue, but only when we aren’t the main dish. Doesn’t that just proves me right? The guy was clearly dangerous and I did her a favor by protecting her.
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Really diary, I’m so offended that I can’t even think. I’m off to sleep some more, but later I’m going to talk to my crazy human and set her priorities straight.
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Bites
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Shark