The Barking Mad Collective

🧠💥 LICK MATS ARE HERE TO SAVE YOUR SANITY (OR WHAT’S LEFT OF IT) 💥🧠

Let’s paint a picture:

You’re just trying to clip one (1) toenail.
Your dog? Flailing like you’ve announced a surprise colonoscopy.

You wanna wash their butt?
Now you’re both crying in the bathtub and someone has a shampoo bottle in their mouth (unclear who).

You open a snack for yourself?
Now you’re being stared down by a tongue-heavy gremlin who thinks every food is shared food.

Sound familiar?

YOU NEED A LICK MAT.
No, seriously. You need it. Your dog needs it. Your nervous system needs it.

We’re talkin’:

🍌 Slather it.
❄️ Freeze it.
🧽 Stick it to a wall and pretend you’re not just bribing your dog for 10 minutes of peace.

These bad boys are:

💥 LOUD — like your dog at 6AM
💥 TEXTURED — like your life before coffee
💥 STRONG — like your will to not scream during bath time

Use it during:
🛁 Bath time
🧼 Grooming
🚪 When guests arrive and your dog loses all social awareness
📺 Or literally any time you want to exist without being shadowed by a furry stalker

🛑 LIMITED STOCK because we’re a small-batch, snack-fuelled, chaos-loving crew and we like it that way.

📩 DM us to order.
Do it now.
Do it before Karen buys us out again for her cavoodle named Tofu who only eats organic duck mousse and won’t p*e unless a jazz playlist is playing.

Have you seen our new range of lick mats yet? We suggest you hurry — limited stock and a whole lot of slobbery demand.

TO ALL THE MUMS WHO WIPE BUTTS, BAKE SNACKS & SPEAK FLUENT BABY-TALK (TO DOGS OR HUMANS): THIS ONE’S FOR YOU.

You’ve sniffed too many bums, stepped on too many squeaky toys, and still somehow have snacks on hand (and in pockets).
Whether your child barks, drools, or begs for cuddles while shedding on your clean clothes—
YOU ARE A MOTHER. A WARRIOR. A TREAT DISPENSING GODDESS.

So today we bark, we howl, we raise a slobbery toast to the queens of chaos.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO THE DOG MUMS, THE HUMAN MUMS & THE GLORIOUSLY UNHINGED HYBRIDS.

Need a last-minute gift?
We got biscuits. We got hearts. We got bags that sparkle like your soul.
(And yes, we gift wrap. Badly, but with love.)

OMGGG SNACK PARTY TIME!!! 🎉

The new 👅 lick mats are HERE and they’re a tongue-twisting, drool-slinging, snack-chasing ADVENTURE!

I’m spinning! I’m zooming! I’m READY TO LICK UNTIL NEXT TUESDAY!!

Get ready, it’s about to get REAL slobbery at Barking Mad HQ! 💧🐶