Do The Work Personal Training

I've been there too.

Not just as a coach but as a parent.

We feel like we aren't being heard. We're frustrated by the seeming lack of response. Their lack of change feels like a lack of care &, even worse, disrespect.

And then, we explode.

But, so often, the screaming is about making ourselves feel better & doesn't serve our actual interests, which is drive change & improvement

Youth athletes learn best in an environment driven by support & safety, not fear.

I was sitting in the coach's box yesterday when my instincts as a father almost took over.

We were in the midst of a Year 10 game of footy with plenty of testosterone being thrown around on the field when my son was slung to the ground in what, I thought, was a completely unnecessary manner.

I was ready to explode out of my chair. I wanted to scream at the opposition player as he got up. All the thoughts that we feel as protective parents went through my mind.

"Dirty player"
"Someone needs to calm him down"

As I chewed on my tongue waiting for the ball to be thrown up, something happened that made me glad I'd kept my mouth shut.

My son got to his feet & was offered a quick low five by the player who had tackled him.

He wasn't trying to hurt him. He was just trying to play the game physically & happened to bring him to ground with more force than he maybe intended.

I saw this countless times during the game yesterday. Boys would flatten each other but then immediately go to check on the opposition player or help one another up as the play moved on.

We aren't wrong to feel the way we do when we see our kids get hurt on a footy field. As parents & coaches, we would almost be neglectful if it didn't make us feel a little sick in our stomachs.

But we have to be able to slow our reactions because, often, the kids can sort this out without us needing to brandish another kid as 'flithy' or start screaming at umpires to 'protect the boys.'

All this does is heighten the emotion in the game, which, inevitably, leads to more hostility. All that hostility, generally driven by the helplessness that parents & coaches feel when they see a kid get hurt, is increase the chances that someone IS actually going to get hurt.

These are young men who are going through an incredibly challenging period of their emerging manhood. They're trying to understand what it is to be a 'man'.

They don't need to be taught aggression & vengence; our very nature is already fueling that. They need to be taught patience, tolerance & how to respond when challenging circumstances come their way.

At the end of the game, I had a terrific exchange with their assistant coach who complimented our boys on always showing up to play physically but fair.

The influence that coaches, managers & parents play on setting the gameday environment is immense. It fuels their emotions. They don't just hear the yelling & screaming, they feel it & it places them on edge.

These young men are already facing so much at this point of their lives. Sports is supposed to be a release & an escape from that.

Let them have it.

Wonderful to be joined by Pia Faletti & Andrew Di Loreto for the Coach & Manager's season launch for the Piara Waters Junior Football Club last night.

They were extremely generous in sharing their knowledge with us all &, hopefully, getting some coaches thinking about how they approach their craft in 2026 & beyond.

Youth coaches.

Set the standard to your kids. Let them know what is & isn't acceptable.

And not just in what they are allowed to do but, in the words, & actions you put on display for them.