Turnell Consulting

Today (and tomorrow) I attended the No To Violence conference via zoom into Tasmania.
The introduction from Mark (Stopping Family Violence. WA) the key note from Thomas Mayo and the panels that followed were skilled intelligent informative and well facilitated.
There was so much learning for me today.
And this is one of the comments that stood out.
I do a lot of working and thinking about guiding principles, assumptions that shapes how we work - and I’ll be adding this gem from Tessa Boyd-Caine from ANROWS (Australian National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety)
It is a statement that creates hope. And vision.
For a world where women are safe from men hurting them.
“Men’s violence is not inevitable” we can work hard to have a world free from men’s violence. And both men and women will only benefit from that.
This is social change work, justice work, hard work. And it is absolutely essential 🙏🏼

Can we please stop referring to cases / situations of domestic abuse as an ‘abusive relationship’

The ‘relationship’ is not abusive.

The person in a relationship choosing to use violence is abusive - not toxic, not ‘unwell’, not afflicted with a personality disorder - abusive. As a choice.

A relationship is a social construct.

Domestic abuse is a choice a person
(Usually a man)
makes to control, intimidate, instil fear in and harm or even kill their intimate partner (usually a woman but not always) and - if they have them - their children.

Say what you mean. Language is important.

*photo not relevant. Just me chilling by the pool. In Bali. As ya do!