Mastering Separation After Abuse - Born to Rise

Sadly individuals with narcissistic personality disorder always need to keep the spotlight on themselves. Unless they want something from you! Then they can be exceptionally kind.

In 2017 I finished my 3 year Bachelor degree in Psychology and was accepted into the 4th year Honors program for February 2018.

I had also secured a placement working with one of the unit coordinators over the summer break assisting him with his research. This was to prepare me to write my Thesis for Honors.

I was working in the office at the time of my partners business.

In November 2017, as soon as I finished my last exam, my partner walked in to the office while I was working and looked at me trembling and said I think I am dying!

This was totally out of the blue and I was completely shocked!

He then had a complete mental and physical breakdown that lasted several months and he sought treatment in a mental health facility and had non stop testing for his "physical ailments'!

He was verbally, mentally, financially and emotionally abusive, started raging at my children and their friends, whereas prior it was only ever directed at me or my eldest child, he used su***de as a weapon for me to stay with him and degraded me to anyone and everyone who would listen.

He acted like the perfect 'victim'

I did not understand it at the time, however, looking back I can see while I was working in the office he had complete control over my life.

I always asked him when it was best to do anything external to work to ensure the business was always up to date and he was not left answering phones when he was busy.

I would fetch him lunch and pander to everything he required!

The fact I had completed a 3 year degree and had gotten into Honors meant I would need to dedicate more time to myself and potentially start working elsewhere.

This was the beginning of the end of our relationship!

I was very blessed that my then partner had absconded with a family member and a friend without my knowledge from the mental health ward only to return within a couple of weeks when he wanted to come home to me! The Psychiatrist was honest with me about my partner not adhering to the program and also told me exactly what he had said about me prior to absconding from the hospital. Including him being adamant he did not want his wife anymore (me), his friend would look after him!

He also told my former partner to stop Doctor shopping (including seeing several Psychiatrists in a short period of time).

In April 2018 I asked the Psychiatrist directly if my then partner had a personality disorder? He took a couple of minutes to evaluate his answer then looked me directly in the eyes and said yes.

He had also been pegged for somatic symptoms (where you get hyper focused on body sensations to the point you stop functioning, yet there is nothing physically wrong you, it is in your mind)

Needless to say my Honors went down the toilet! As did working over the summer with the unit coordinator. As did my job, my mental health, my financial stability, my ability to parent effectively, basic functioning flew out the window, I was like an empty shell! I felt like I had my entire world ripped out from underneath me and there was no foundation left to stand on!

I am proud to say today I appreciate what I have learned from this relationship, it pushed me further on my journey of self discovery and made me continue to take a long hard look at myself and acknowledging deficits within myself.

Sadly I did go on to have another relationship with a narcissist (diagnosed by proxy) which was much worse than that one!

That led me to my complete overhaul!

Lots of healing and loving energy sent your way peoples.

Never give up, one step at a time, minute by minute and you will get there.