CLRowe

Yesterday, it was my son Harry's 7th birthday.

He wanted a fish.

After picking a tank, pebbles, plants, and food - the store owner told me that I had to wait at least a week before putting a fish in the tank, to allow the water to filter with the chemicals.

She declined to sell me a fish, rationalising that they were "responsible" merchants.

I am 42 years old.

This isn't my first fish.

After telling her that I'm not leaving the store without a fish for my child, and threatening to drop my $150 purchase of equipment, she had a reluctant change of heart.

I could suddenly buy a fish, but not without a clearly disgruntled assertion that the fish would probably die within 12 hours without appropriate water filtration first.

After leaving the store, Harry asked me why the lady at the fish store was so grumpy?

'Because she believed something was important,' I said, 'and she wanted to stand by her opinion.'

'But she still let us buy the fish,' he said, confused.

'Yes,' I replied. 'It was important until money was involved. When money is involved, baby, all sorts of things stop being important.'

He considered this, in his little mind, and then asked the most remarkable question:

'Was it wrong to buy the fish?'

I smiled.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'If you really believe something, should money change it?'

He instantly shook his head.

'No,' he said.

'No,' I agreed, reaching over to ruffle his hair as we drove home. 'Remember that, sweetheart. Truly believing something, means nothing can move it, which means you have to really think about what you believe. Always test your beliefs before other people do. When you don't, you look foolish.'

He was silent for a while.

'Is my fish going to die?'

I pursed my lips, because I couldn't guarantee otherwise.

'If he does,' I said, fully aware that he wouldn't, 'then maybe we have to re-think our opinion.'

When we got home, I felt more nervous about setting up an aquarium than I ever had before - despite being a fish keeper my whole life; because I had suddenly put my stance on the line for my child.

But in the end, I stood by what I believed.

The fish wouldn't die.

Hasn't died.

Harry called him "Ember," after the orange coals in our fireplace.

I didn't tell him that fish are disposable pets, that cost $6.50, and that a goldfish has no more right to "life" than the crumbed kind I serve up to him and his brothers.

I didn't tell him that fish do die faster than our 17 year cat, or four year old dog, and that when it does, it would be unreasonable to grieve the same way.

Such lessons will come.

In the end, everything can be quantified.
Everything can be justified.
But if you have a stance, stick to it, and suffer the consequences.

That goes for both conviction, and weakness.

Suffice to say, Ember is a thriving, happy fish today.

Perhaps he will stay that way.
Perhaps he won't.

In the end, it doesn't matter.

A lesson was learned, and whichever way it goes, the lesson will still be valuable, whether I am right or not, and my son will benefit from that lesson regardless.

Okay, so I have had a MASSIVE break from social media, and I have LOVED every second of it. In fact, if these platforms hadn't so sneakily worked their way into every facet of our existence, I think I'd delete all my accounts and live an anti-social hermit life, for the rest of my life.

But here's the kicker...

As much as I really do hate social media and the scourge it has become.

As much as I have felt perfectly okay with being disconnected, missing unimportant bulls**t, not doing fact checks on every single "news" update, and being disturbed by the insane lengths some people will go to for even an ounce of attention (nip slip anyone?🙄)

As much as I hate the fraudulent, one dimensional "isn't my life perfect" (while it's falling apart on the inside) garbage people are STILL intent to post - not to mention the horrifying increase of unqualified influencer garbage and AI proliferation.

I have missed one thing...

The creatives.

People who wouldn't know how to gain a million followers, because that's not their intention.

People with art to bequeath to the world, quietly existing for others to find.

People of true purpose, and passionate intention, who spend 90% of their time producing tangible beauty, and 10% of their time connecting with like-minded individuals, and fans of their work in this electronic space we can no longer avoid.

I have thought about you guys a lot while I've been away, and whilst I'm not going to say "I'M BACK" like I have some grand announcement, I still think it's worth mentioning.

Most people who quit social media are drawn back because they miss the content.

I have come back, because I miss a small handful of people, most of whom I have never met, but felt connected enough to reach out and see how I was.

This is RARE on social media, but I still made it, and I don't want to lose it.

As far as content goes, I've never considered myself a creator beyond the writing I do behind socials. Being a content creator entails strategy, curation, organisation, marketing, and a whole raft of other essentials that I can't be fu**ed with. I still have four neurodiverse little boys to raise, a family to care for, books to write, and a master's to complete.

There may come a day when time allows me more effort on socials than a few minutes per day to post something I care about, but I don't need to be structured, and I don't care.

So, I'm going for a hybrid approach. Using social media for what I find meaningful, and discarding the rest. This is not easy to do, but I have an extremely high intolerance for bulls**t, so I'm thinking I can make it work.

So, let's reconnect.
I sincerely hope you have all been well.



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