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Carers are amazing

“It’s not natural for us. We try and treat it as a job rather than a caring role and so our nature is to try and fix problems. And this one can’t be fixed. So we feel that we have failed.”

Bruce is the primary carer for his brother Russell who has lived with younger onset dementia for almost a decade now.

When reflecting on his experiences, Bruce said being a male in a caring role has allowed him to talk to other men in similar circumstances and to learn how to help each other out.

“I started a small men’s group that meets every month,” Bruce said.

“It’s made me develop some communication skills that I didn’t have, and to try and get men to communicate more about the things that matter.

“You really need to ask more than one question. I will ask people how they’re going and I’ll follow it up, looking straight in their eyes, and say, ‘Look, I’ve been there. I’m looking after somebody with dementia. I’ll ask you again, how are you going?’.

“Almost every person I talk to, I need to ask more than just how are you. Most carers are struggling but they won’t admit it.”

If you’ve found yourself in a caring role and need support, practical strategies or advice, we are here for you.

Please contact the National Dementia Helpline anytime on 1800 100 500 or visit https://www.dementia.org.au/get-support/national-dementia-helpline for live chat or email options.