Core Reconnect

Appropriate and functional boundaries are kind, they are loving.

“Really? Surely they will just create anger, resentment, upset and hurt to myself and others?”

1 year ago that’s exactly what I thought. I was so entrenched in my people pleasing ways, making sure I looked after everyone else before myself that I could not see how setting boundaries could possibly create anything positive. I didn’t realize that whenever I felt resentful or overwhelmed it was because I wasn’t setting clear boundaries.

BUT

You may be happy to know that boundaries are important because they are the basic guidelines regarding how you want to be treated. But also:

• Boundaries allow you to be true to yourself.
• Boundaries are a form of self-care
• Boundaries create realistic expectations of others
• Boundaries create safety
• Boundaries create a set of rules that give you the confidence
and permission to say NO.
• Boundaries help you draw a clear line around what is
appropriate behavior and what isn’t.
• Boundaries create a clear line for you to know what you will
accept and what you won’t.

And that when communicated lovingly and with consistency they can provide clarity and deepen love and respect within any relationship as-well reducing anxiety and overwhelm.

Of-course setting boundaries can be scary, especially when we are setting them with people who have been the ones to benefit from your lack of boundaries but this will be the kindest thing you can do for yourself and for your relationship. They will allow you and your friends, family and colleagues to know where you each stand, what is needed in the relationship and what is accepted and what is not.

So this week I invite you to consider the changes you want to make within your life and why? I invite you to consider what boundaries you want to implement to ensure you are leading a life of your choosing.

And remember

Change doesn’t happen by chance, Change happens by choice.

Have you noticed your life is out of balance? Have you noticed that there are areas of your life that deserve more attention? So what are you choosing to do differently today, what are you choosing to focus on that was neglected previously? What are you choosing to do to create a more balanced life? The first part of creating balance is awareness of your current life. But with awareness and no action nothing changes. Remember change doesn’t happen by chance, it happens by choice.

💕Are you living a life of your choosing?💕

💕Are you seeing the results in life you want?💕

If the answer is no to those questions you are not alone. For too long I let life pass me by. I grew more and more frustrated with where I was and where I wasn't heading but I didn't know what to do to change things. I wanted change but it never came. Nothing changed.

Nothing changed until my mindset changed. Until I realized I had a choice in what I did and if I wanted to change where my life was going I had to take action. I had a choice. I was no longer going to be the victim and I was going to start taking charge of my destiny and my dreams and I was going to turn things around.

Change can be scary.
Change can be uncertain.

💕But with uncertainty comes adventure.💕
💕With uncertainty comes new possibilities.💕
💕And with new possibilities anything is possible!!!💕

Also Change doesn't have to be scary. Change doesn't have to be big. With baby steps you can still climb that mountain. You can still achieve all your wildest dreams. But to do this you have to take that first step however big or small.

So what one small step are you making today that is leading you to life of your dreams?

❤️ Breaking through the barriers of your Comfort Zone ❤️

I am not sure when it happened, but I went from someone who was constantly striving for more, experiencing more, achieving more to someone who could no longer handle the uncomfort that striving for more created. I retreated back into my safe little bubble, my comfort zone. I lived in daily fear, I was literally just trying to survive. I was certainly settling for less, and I was ok with that. I am someone who always had insecurities, but they grew so large they became overwhelming and coloured everything I did or should that say didn’t do. I was playing it safe. I was hiding in my very, very tiny zone of comfort.

My comfort zone
☹️ Kept me safe
☹️ Kept mes secure
☹️ Kept me calm and comfortable and free from anxiety.

BUT it also
☹️ kept small
☹️ sabotaged my changes of lasting joy and happiness
☹️ stopped me from growing
☹️ stopped me from experiencing true confidence
and stopped me from thriving.

Deciding to start pushing past the barriers of your comfort zone can cause a little stress and anxiety and it can be uncomfortable at first but with the right mindset, with commitment and with consistency you will realize you are more resilient, more courageous and capable than you once believed.

The exciting thing about breaking outside of your comfort zone is the more you challenge yourself the bigger your comfort zone gets and the easier things which used to be a challenge become, until they now sit comfortably within your zone of comfort. And then guess what happens? You push a little more. More and more each day, week, month, year until you are living the life you could only dream of. Of being the person you didn’t even know existed as you couldn’t fathom the true potential that sat within you waiting to be set free.

❤️❤️ I would therefore love to set you 2 challenges this week.❤️❤️

❤️ What could you commit to start doing everyday that pushes you outside of your comfort zone? It doesn’t have to be anything huge. With baby steps you can still conquer the mountain.

❤️ Notice when you next find yourself hesitating about a decision you need to make, and when you do, ask yourself is the risk worth the reward???

❤️What do you do each day that makes you happy??❤️



This seems like a straightforward enough question, no???



However, more and more clients I am working with are struggling to find an answer to this question. And if I’m honest when I was asked this question my answers were....



💔I don’t know.

💔I don’t have time.

💔And, I don’t actually know what makes me happy!



So many of us spend our days ensure everyone else in our lives are happy - our children, our partners, our colleagues, our friends - that we often neglect to look at what we do to create happiness within, to feel fulfilled.



5 months ago, I decided I was going to change this narrative and take charge of my own internal happiness.



I could no longer rely on all the external sources of happiness I had placed undue importance on and realized that true happiness comes from within. It is me making a commitment to me. It is me making small promises to myself every day and making sure I set boundaries around those promises to ensure they are met.



And guess what? As I continue to keep those promises and I continue to look after me, my baseline happiness has grown. Those peeks and throughs I was experiencing have stabilized. I am able to truly find happiness in a really unstable world, and I am on the way to finding true inner peace.



🥰So, I’d love to know what makes you happy? and what do you do every day to make you smile and your heart sing?🥰

Learning how to be vulnerable has been one of the greatest abs most valuable lessons I have learnt as an adult. So many of us have been taught to be strong, to be confident, to be independent. But we’re you ever taught to be vulnerable? Vulnerability breeds courage. And with courage a life beyond our wildest dreams is possible.