Open Heavens

A Poem for Man and Woman
Proverbs 31 is an acrostic poem. This is God’s truth, and it’s very skillfully written. The Hebrew word translated excellent is used 244 times in the Old Testament. Its basic meaning is strength. In fact, some have translated it as valor. Think about the strengths that are found in manhood, those strengths that may be physical in nature and turn into someone’s character. When used of a woman, the word communicates virtue. That is the excellent wife: a woman who is strong, worthy, virtuous, and a crown to her husband.

Interestingly, if I were to ask you, when you think about Proverbs 31 verses 10 to 31, do you think these verses are instructions for a man or woman? How would you categorize it? I think we all tend to categorize it as instructions for women. However, I believe this was written as instructions for a son and for a man. This speaks to men greatly. These instructions tell a man what kind of woman is excellent, virtuous, and desirable. This woman that is described in Proverbs 31 is the type of woman you should marry. My point is that this poem is not only for women, but for both man and woman. Men should read it as instructions to not only look for, but pray for. Then trust and wait on the Lord for her.

Obviously, it is also instructions for a woman. I’m very grateful that God has given me a wife who embodies the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman. She’s not perfect, no woman is, but has those characteristics in her, and that’s God’s grace to her and to me. My wife Jackie was raised in a non-Christian home. She came to Christ in her late teenage years. I share this to encourage anyone who has not been raised in a Christian home, nor has been set with this as a model. My wife didn’t have this kind of model, and so it is good for women who are believers to know that you have everything you need to live this out. God has given you the new nature and the capacity for truth, and He has given you the desire to be who He wants you to be. God will produce these things in your life if you desire it and are teachable.

I encourage you, man or woman of God, to read Proverbs 31 to have a deeper understanding of who God wants you to be or pray for when it comes to dating and the potential of marriage.

I never thought I'd live to see twenty-one. After a long history of s*xual abuse, r**e, and living in a chaotic environment, my mother left me alone in our gang-ridden neighborhood, at the age of thirteen, with my eight-year-old brother, to fend for ourselves for three months. During that summer, I became involved with an older boy who offered us food and protection. The relationship became abusive and exploitative, and ultimately led me to working in the s*x industry as a stripper. Essentially, my boyfriend became my pimp and my life was spiraling out of control.

Enter Jesus.

In Him, I found grace, healing, and a path to freedom. I began to dream again. I dreamed of a day that I would have a home with a white picket fence, and a green lawn with children’s toys scattered about. I dreamed of an intact family where we would all have the same last name. My dream represented safety and stability—something I didn’t experience much of throughout my childhood.

I mistakenly believed that if I went to church on Sunday, read the right books, and did the right things, all of my dreams would be realized and I would have a certain Jesus-immunity to the troubles of life.

Within a few years, everything was going according to my plan. I was married with a beautiful baby, and had a home with a yard. Life was so good that I was jealous of my own self!

When I found out my husband had been having affairs, and ultimately wasn’t willing to fight for restoration in our marriage, I felt like every hope I ever had for my life was crushed. The life I dreamed of was completely falling apart.

In his poem, “Harlem”, Langston Hughes poses a question. “What happens to a dream deferred?”

“Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore—

And then run?”

I believe that what happens to our dreams when they are deferred, out of reach, or even shattered, depends on the dreamer. How we respond will determine whether we are propelled closer to the God-dream for our life or further from it.

In the wake of my husband’s confession, I was faced with a decision…

Where was I going to place my hope? Was I going place my hope in the dream I had for my life? Or was I going to place hope in God?

According to the Bible, hope deferred makes the heart sick, but hope in Jesus is an anchor for our soul. I couldn’t change my circumstances, as much as I wanted to, but I could decide how I was going to respond to them.

I invite you to reflect on the following questions: Where is your hope today? Is your hope in the dream for your life? Or is your hope in The Giver of Dreams?

I Am Not an Animal!

Animals are governed by their instincts; humans are governed by our choices. This also means that my feelings and desires are subject to me; I am not subject to my feelings and desires.

In the Apostle Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he is talking about his desire to see as many people saved as possible. But as Jesus said in Matthew 16:26, “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” Then Paul also realizes that he cannot just be telling everyone about Jesus but not pursuing Jesus himself, so he goes on and says:

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (NIV)
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

In “striking a blow to his body,” Paul is saying that he will take control of his body and not the other way around. We live in a world that says, “If it feels good, do it!” Paul, however, draws a comparison with the athletes, who because of their goal of becoming number one in a race, choose to live disciplined even when it doesn’t feel good.

Let’s not kid ourselves; fasting doesn’t feel good. But the pleasure of knowing that I’m in control of my feelings is so much better than any passing craving.

Jesus, I pray that my YES to you will always govern my daily choices.
As I fast, I want to grow in my ability to not just live according to my feelings and desires, but by my convictions. Thank you for strengthening me! Amen.

Fasting or Food Fight?

Whenever people talk about fasting, the debate often comes up about what you can fast and whether it’s even necessary. Then at some point, Isaiah 58:6 often gets quoted, which says:
"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts.” (Isaiah 58:6 MSG)

But this passage doesn’t talk about not fasting, but the fact that people have totally missed the point of fasting. Fasting (and any spiritual discipline for that matter) doesn’t exist as a point on a list for us just to check off once done. It’s a matter of the heart.

In the verses prior to this, God rebukes them for fasting while arguing. “The moment you stop fasting,” He says, “You’re back at it again. Fighting each other.” That’s not fasting. That’s a diet.

That is why fasting is not just about stopping something (eating, watching TV, having a social media break etc.) but also replacing it with some time of prayer and devotion, where we give space for God’s grace to challenge and change us from the inside out.

Jesus, I want to pray like the Psalmist prayed:
“Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.”
May you continue to point the things out in my heart that is not reflecting your best for me. Amen.