Fisky

Tomorrow: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/mind-over-matter-8th-birthday-tickets-1737322441189

Take what you want from me
'cause I can't bear it
I find it hard to breathe

Head high
but I’m barely treading water
pockets weighed down with self-doubt
are always bound to cause a
couple ripples
when diving head first
in still rivers
chill, shivers
miss sunshine like Bill Withers
this sickness
sometimes I feel like burning bridges
and not being happy until
I see them broken floating down rivers
finger on my triggers
I consider sipping liquor
knowing all the lager does
is make me sicker
sad and bitter
they said I’m difficult
he’s hard to be around
they told me just cheer up
asked me why I’m always down
all I want is to be happy and feel love
but how can I control
what I never knew I weren't in control of
mental illness took the driver’s seat
at thirty nine I finally see
I’ve been a passenger in my own mind
since sixteen
never knew why I couldn’t be
or why they couldn’t see
how tiring it is to be me
sometimes I can’t
breathe

I find it hard to breathe
I find it hard to breathe
I find it hard to breathe
Take what you want from me
'cause I can't

Who’s shame is this
take it back and the blame that came with it
the darkness I’m okay with it
but answer me who’s brain is this
some days it doesn’t even act like
we’re one in the same in this
a great abyss I swim the depths
afraid I’m not afraid of this
if I could make one wish
it’d be to have a pot to take a p**s
life hit a major shift
reset, which made a rift
culled anger
for sobriety to make me p**sed
life tying my hands
didn’t suit me so I tailored it
and made it fit
they can curse, make a fist
tell me I’m sitting in my trauma
same as I would be on a waiting list
asked for help so many times
still I never made a list
they got me repeating words
worse than a plagiarist
but now they got to reap eating words
'cause my savior is
writing as a therapist
I’m seeing no debate in this
my pen has always been involved
whenever I engaged with it
but engage with it I won’t
because they broke a Will like Jada did
..

Inherited from my Father
shared symptoms and traits
we never spoke about it
now he’s gone and it’s too late
drugs alcohol violence
lacking vital guidance
I can’t stop the cycle
but I can end the silence

Take what you want from me
'cause I can't bear it
I find it hard to breathe

Adore, deplore me
f**k what you call me
tired of writing the same old story
music is maths
but formulas bore me
attention limited
patience poorly
walk in an o**y
sporting a sore knee
awkwardly order a portion of Morleys
pour liquor for me
poor little Pauly
limited time that Lordy affords me
ceilings annoying me
rock bottom floored me
walking away 's only walking toward me
normally I would have spoken more broadly
aired out my laundry
demons and all
love seeing them fall
but these f**kers bore me
my life's been a show
but I do not perform for free