DILLIGAF

The best you can.

He said when he came back he thought everything had changed,
That everyone he knew seemed different in one way or another,
Like the country wasn't the same and he was a foreigner,
Said he felt lost even though the buildings were all the same,
The park where he and all the neighborhood kids played,
The old baseball field where he hit his first and only home run,
Everything about his home town was the same except the people,
Said they all spoke to him differently than before,
How he could see the uncertainty in their eyes,
The uneasiness in their voice every time he said good morning..

Then one night in a drunken rage he realized it was him,
He had changed so much that he didn't even recognize himself,
That war took all the good in him and spit it out,
Stripped him of any innocence and good intent,
It left an anger that he himself didn't understand,
A constant paranoia that was slowly eating him,
Vision of a past that he couldn't get away from,
Even in his sleep they'd push their way into the light,
Leaving him huddled in a corner shaking as tears ran like rivers,
So bad that even the drugs and booze couldn't bring him peace..

We sat next to that fire for what seemed liked days,
I barely even spoke a word just listened to his pain,
I couldn't count how many times he thanked me,
But every time I told him no need I was just thankful for his company,
Watching him stare at that empty bottle by his feet,
Feeling the tremors in his hands as he lit another cigarette,
Never once did I try to imagine what he'd been through,
Because I was seeing what that war had done to him,
Affects that I would never wish upon anyone,
All I could do was sit there and keep him company..

I remember waking up to a song he was singing,
I watched him wrap that empty bottle in his bed wrap,
I asked him what's the deal with that old bottle,
He said it was the bottle that he had finished a long time ago,
A reminder that sober was better than drunk and raging,
He wore a smile as he said it and somehow that touched me,
Gave me a feeling that even in the darkness he found some light,
I never judged him for the darkness he carried inside,
That was because I seen the goodness he wore like an old coat,
It suited him well and I took great delight in that..

The two of us rode many miles together that summer,
Stopping in little towns where he met old friends,
People who treated him like he was some sort of savior,
We sat around tables filled with laughter and heartfelt smiles,
So many asked if he still carried around that old bottle,
With the biggest smile he'd say yep and it's still empty,
Every time we'd depart it was tears and hugs and see you later,
By the end of that summer I was amazed at the love he gave,
How he had helped so many with one addiction or another,
All while carrying the pain of a war he never asked for..

To quote the man.....it's not what you've been through it's about dealing with right now the best you can.

Chief 2/25/11

Gone gone gone

December came and went,
A lonely cold on these old roads,
Chasin the sun southern bound,
Singin that old v-twin song,

April showers kept me movin on,
Seeking some old coastal town,
Just like that I was lost & found,
Two lanes got me gone gone gone,

Here today come tomorrow I'm gone,
These two wheels keep goin round,
Never lost and never found,
I'm just tryin to get gone...

August in the northern skies,
Surrounded by the colored pines,
Fields of hope and hearty songs,
Lost again in the crops of life,

Septembers here once again,
Orange and golden browns,
Times are changin like the seasons,
Now the summers gone gone gone,

Here today come tomorrow I'm gone
And I'm still chasin that sun,
Stuck in that lost & found,
You can color me gone...

That northern wind at my back,
There's a horizon just ahead,
Still chasin that settin sun,
These two lanes got me gone gone gone,

Two wheels keep me goin,
V-twin songs keep me movin,
The rise and fall of that sun,
Keeps me gone gone gone...

Chief 2/15/91