Jeff Jacobson

"Don't be a girl." Here's where it gets really complicated. Little boys don't understand the rule. They just know there is one. So they start running everything through a filter: Is this too girly? Am I allowed to like this? Art. Asking for help. Being too close to people. All of it gets flagged.

And for heterosexual boys, there's a painful double whammy. The person they fall in love with is also someone they've been taught is less than. You can't build something equal on that foundation. It was never set up to be.

What part of this hit closest to home? I'd love to hear it in the comments.

"Don't be a girl." This affects everyone.

Before we even get into it, just sit with what that does on the surface. Little boys, who have sisters, cousins, moms, grandmothers, aunts, classmates, people they love and play with, grow up with the message that there's something wrong with being like them. Something to avoid. Something lesser.

That's just the beginning. There's a lot more to unpack here, and we'll be covering it together.

But what's coming up for you right off the top? Drop it in the comments. Let's discuss.

Human babies have the longest period of dependency of any species on earth. We are literally wired to need each other. And we shame boys for it from the very beginning.

Instead of saying, "You'll get there, just not yet," we send them into a lifetime of not trusting their own needs. That's where this comes from: The man who can't ask for help. The man who has to prove he's not weak. The man who's still running from that needy little kid he was told never to be.

What's coming up for you? Drop it in the comments.

Lashing out isn't courage. It isn't alpha. It's just unprocessed fear looking for somewhere to land. Get curious. Take a breath. That's the work.