Puzzles Lovers

I started showering at night instead of the morning and it genuinely changed how I sleep
This feels like such a small thing but I've been doing it for about four months now and I don't think I'm going back.

I showered in the morning my entire life. Alarm, shower, coffee, leave. That was the routine and I never questioned it because that's just what you do, right? The shower wakes you up, you start fresh, it makes sense.

Then I had a week where my schedule got completely flipped around and I was working late and waking up later and I started showering at night just because it was more convenient. And I slept noticeably better almost immediately.

I looked into it a bit and apparently there's something to it, your body temperature drops slightly after a warm shower which helps signal to your brain that it's time to sleep. I don't know enough about the science to explain it properly but whatever the reason, I started falling asleep faster and waking up feeling less groggy than usual.

The other thing I didn't expect is how much nicer it is to get into bed actually clean. Like I knew logically that I was getting into bed with the day on me every night, but I hadn't really thought about it until the comparison was right there. Clean sheets feel completely different when you're also clean going into them.

The only adjustment is my hair. I have medium length hair and going to sleep with it slightly damp took some getting used to. It looks a bit uneven in the morning sometimes. Small price honestly.

I still sometimes do a quick morning rinse if I feel like I need it but the full shower has moved to night and I don't see myself going back. Anyone else made this switch

Ladies- trimming bushes with scissors?
So, I am a bush-haver. I have never in my life gone bald. I shave the front and my inner thighs so nothing shows when i'm in un**es or a swimsuit, but I've never gone completely bald.

This leads to my question- my bush is curly, and gets fairly long. Now, let it be noted that I take a shower every day and wash the hair with honeypot (i used to shampoo it). And when it gets long, I trim it with scissors.

I had a friend over and she asked me why i keep scissors in the shower. So i told her. and she told me it was weird as hell. I asked why? And she told me that every other girl she knows and has talked to about p***c care is bald. I am 23. Is it weird to trim my p***s with scissors? Is it more common for women to go bald?

I'm utterly confused, as i thought i was being very hygienic by trimming my p***s. Now i feel gross for even having p***c hair.

Is washing the l***a with water only uncommon?
I’ve always heard from doctors and gynecologists that water is enough for the v***a and that soap is optional, especially around the l***a.

I recently saw a video saying that not using soap there is “disgusting.” I obviously don’t agree with that, but it did make me curious about other women’s routines.

I use body wash on my groin/bikini line and mons p***s, but I don’t put soap between my l***a. Between the outer and inner l***a I use water only most days. Roughly once a week I also use a gentle facial cleanser or Dove Beauty Bar to wash my l***as.
I’ve never had issues with odor, irritation, or infections, and my boyfriend says I always smell fresh and clean.

Do you use soap on your l***a, only on the outer areas, or just water? Is water-only around the l***a fairly common?

How are we getting over the fact that public pools are super gross?
I used to love swimming pools when I was younger but in my adulthood, I just can’t get over how grossed out I am about public pools. Logically I’m aware that they’re monitored and chemically treated so nothing harmful can really live and they’re not a public health risk or they’d obviously be shut down, but the thought of submerging myself in water that tons of other people are marinating in, PEEING IN, shedding skin cells in, etc. is so gross to me. I want to enjoy a hot girl pool summer but I just get the ick so bad. Can anyone relate?

And before you ask, I’m even less cool with swimming in lakes or oceans but I’m super landlocked so that doesn’t really come up.

ETA: I don’t have OCD, I’m not a crazy germaphobe, I KNOW there’s no actual danger in pools. I’m talking about the mental aspect of sharing [even sterile] water with strangers. We seem to be divided between people getting it and people thinking I’m some sort of ridiculous priss for being yucked out. All I’ll say is, next time a used bandaid gently caresses you on its way by in the public pool, think of me.

ETA 2: someone just referred to it as “sitting on the bus but wet”. Thread over, no one is ever changing my mind on this now.

My daughter’s hygiene (or lack there of) is unbearable and I don’t know what else to do.
She’s 16 years old does not brush her teeth often, doesn’t change her stinky socks and I’m pretty sure skips using soap when she showers. I’ve taught her all her life to do all of these things correctly but she refuses or does it half assed with an extreme attitude. I’ve tried telling her nicely that she needs to clean up but she catches an attitude as soon as I bring anything up. We had a dentist appointment a few months back and they pulled some chunks of built up residue (?) The dentist told her it causes bad breath and over years can ruin her teeth. She was on top of brushing and flossing for a bit but has since stopped almost altogether. The worst is her shoes and socks. The smell lingers all over the house when she gets home from school and I have to literally open doors and windows so it can air out for like 10-15 minutes on top of spray. She has her room door closed when she’s in there and I’m not exaggerating when I say that when she opens the door the stench fills up all of up stairs and even spraying the hallway down doesn’t eliminate the smell completely. Her dad has mentioned it when she goes to his house and how she will go the entire weekend without showering unless he tells her to. I’m constantly suffering from second hand embarrassment thinking that kids at school have surely labeled her the stinky kid or when she goes to friends houses and takes her shoes off the stench is undeniable and unpleasant. I don’t think any of her peers have said anything to her because I feel like they don’t want to hurt her feelings and/or she probably would’ve taken it serious by now but I don’t know how else to get through to her. I’m super sensitive to smells in my house and lately I’ve become sort of rude to her about it because it has been a few years at this point and I can’t stand it anymore. Any advice on what I can say or do differently to get through to her? I’m worried for when she goes to room with someone in Uni next year…

i saw texts that i wasnt supposed to see and now im devastated
A few days ago I was hanging out with two friends, let’s call them B and R. B and I have been friends for around 10 years, and R and I became friends through her since B and R are cousins. R and I have been close for about 5 years now.

After we hung out, R went home and I stayed with B for a while. At one point we had each other’s phones and I was scrolling through their chat looking for some pictures we’d taken earlier. That’s when I accidentally came across messages from R saying that she doesn’t like me.

The second I saw it, I closed the chat and acted like nothing happened. I didn’t bring it up to B. But when I got home, I completely broke down. It’s been two days and I still can’t stop thinking about it.

What hurts the most is that I genuinely considered R one of the closest people in my life. I cared about her a lot and always thought she cared about me too. Now I don’t know what to believe.

Part of me feels like I should just distance myself, but it’s not that simple. R can be very emotional and has intense mood swings. A part of me keeps wondering if maybe I’d done something that upset her and she said it in the heat of the moment. But then another part of me feels like I’m just making excuses because I don’t want to accept that someone I loved as a friend might not actually like me.

The confusing thing is that she’s always been or at least seemed extremely caring and supportive. Nothing about our friendship ever made me think she secretly disliked me.

I don’t know if I’m overthinking this, gaslighting myself, or just refusing to face reality. Has anyone been through something similar? What would you do in my situation?

Found out I'm blood-related to my boyfriend.
My boyfriend (30M) and I (21M) met in Melbourne, Australia. I’m from Germany, but I was staying in Australia for a while visiting a friend and working there when we met.

We clicked almost immediately. We talked for weeks, got really close, and honestly matched perfectly. He has pretty much everything I look for in a partner. Like most couples, we also shared personal stuff with each other. One thing he told me early on was that he barely talks to his dad’s side of the family because he thinks they’re toxic.

I also met his sister at one point, and weirdly enough she has the exact same name as my sister. I thought it was a funny coincidence at the time.

Both of us come from conservative Turkish Muslim families, and neither of us is out, so we never introduced each other to our families. It would’ve caused a lot of unnecessary drama and probably wouldn’t have been accepted anyway.

Eventually I went back to Germany. One weekend during family breakfast, my dad was on the phone with relatives in Turkey like he usually is. At some point he started talking to his uncle. I wasn’t really paying attention until I heard him mention that his uncle’s kids live in Melbourne.

Then he said their names. The exact same names as my boyfriend and his sister.

At first I thought there was no way it could actually be them. Melbourne is a huge city, and Turkish families often reuse the same names, so I tried to convince myself it was just a coincidence.

But the next day I called my boyfriend and casually started asking more questions about his dad — his full name, his job, other details.

And that's when it hit me.

I realized I'm literally dating my dad's cousin..

So now I feel sadness, disgust, rage, and just so many emotions, because I know that the right thing would be to break up, but there's also this feeling that I won't find someone like him again, and that genuinely makes me want to cry. So what advice would you all give?

Wife passed away yesterday and I don't know where to go from here...
My wife died suddenly from an aneurysm yesterday. It was quick, so much so we didn't have a chance to say goodbye. She was there one minute scoring plexiglass for a project, and then suddenly on the floor.

I called ambulance and they declared her dead at hospital.

They gave me a few days to "get her affairs in order", since its the weekend.

I know she wants to be cremated AGAINST her families' wishes, and to be buried in Ireland, where her grandparents were from, or Scotland, where I'm from, and in our family grounds.

We're both in our mid-40's so neither of us had really planned anything for it. She doesn't have a will, nor does her family have anything held for her. It was just... far too quick.

I appreciate any advice you can offer, especially if you've been through a similar situation.

Thank you all.

EDIT: I'm so incredibly greatfull for all of your messages of support and advice. I am taking steps because of you folks that I didn't consider beforehand.

I'm attempting to go through the messages one by one, and theyr'e getting many, so it may take me a bit to get to you, but I will. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

EDIT 2: Some of you have been asking about how long we've been married. She and i have been married 24 years. It would've been 25 in October.

EDIT 3 (1/6, 22:52CST) I spent the day getting paperwork together and getting a funeral home, etc. She IS going to be cremated with a stone here in the US. It was a compromise between myself and her parents, though the placement of her ashes is still in discussion. Thank all of you, from the bottom of me heart.

I wet my bfs bed and idk what to do
Im freaking out. I genuinely don’t know what to do. Im 21. I used to have a problem with wetting the bed up until I was 15. I haven’t done it since then. I don’t know how this happened..

Im at my boyfriend’s apartment. He doesn’t have a wash machine here. He gets back at 3:30. I have a work zoom meeting from 12-3. I think I HAVE to tell him I wet the bet. I’m so sad. He’s going to think I’m disgusting. I don’t know what to do. Is there anyway I can fix this without telling him??? I can’t take the bedding back to my place because I live an hour 30 away.

I don’t have time for a laundromat I don’t think.. I don’t know what to do. No this isn’t some type of fe**sh or something. I’m so sad, I’m freaking out. Please help and give me ideas. I know this is gross.. i feel disgusting I don’t know what happened. I didn’t even have any dreams of a toilet or anything. I just woke up, my bf had gone to work, and I was pissy. Please give me ideas. I would call my mom and ask but she used to be so mean to me about wetting the bed. It’s currently 10am so I have 2 hrs until my zoom meeting. I can’t reschedule this because it’s an orientation zoom for my new job.

new friend?
Me (32F) and my boyfriend (32M) went to another couple's house for dinner. I was meeting them for the first time. My boyfriend has been friends with the guy for years. The guys went outside to grill dinner. I grabbed 2 glasses of wine and went to hang out with the girl. I found her facetiming her friend and I told her "oh sorry I'll wait in the kitchen". She says to me "we dont have to be friends just because our boyfriends are." I was kinda surprised and just said "oh" and walked away. My boyfriend told me to keep trying, so I got her number. She has never responded to any of my texts. I asked her about it in person and she just laughed. Is it wrong that I don't want to hang out with her anymore?