Stephanie George Eventing

Buy the kid a pony!🤣

So, you're thinking about getting your child an iPad? Be better. Buy them a pony.
An iPad teaches colors. A pony teaches consequences.
An iPad keeps them quiet. A pony keeps them humble.

Your child throws an iPad? It bounces.
Your child throws a tantrum near a pony? The child bounces (hopefully).

An iPad will rot their brain.
A pony will break their spirit… and rebuild it with character.

iPad addiction? Real.
Pony addiction? Also real. But at least they'll be too tired/poor to do drugs.

An iPad keeps them inside, safe, warm.
The pony keeps them outside, freezing, muddy, and character-building.

You want to teach discipline, resilience, and upper body strength?
Get the pony.

An iPad gives them screen time.
The pony gives them trauma and legs of steel.

The iPad comes with parental controls.
The pony comes with vet bills, trust issues, and a God complex.

The iPad updates overnight.
The pony updates mid-ride — usually into full gremlin mode.
The iPad comes with a warranty.
The pony comes with regrets, vet bills, and a deeply personal vendetta against your child.

The iPad might keep them quiet on long plane/car journeys.
The pony will mean you are too poor to need to keep them entertained on such journeys.

You want to teach patience?
Try waiting for your child to lead an overly chubby hamster disguised as a pony in from a fresh field of grass.

And friends?
The iPad gives them Fortnite buddies.
The pony gives them lifelong bonds with other feral horse girls who smell like horse p*e and Red Bull formed through traumatic events.

Because in 20 years, no one remembers the iPad game, but they do remember the feral Shetland pony who consistently threw them into the arena fence.

So do it.
Buy the pony.
The iPad might raise a screen zombie...
But the pony?
The pony will raise someone who can deadlift a hay bale, drive a trailer, and be emotionally immune to panic.
Essentially a gladiator — with helmet hair and trust issues.